How do you kill a lawyer? Stab him 50 times in the chest, slit him open and take all of his organs out one by one. Burn what you have left. That should do the trick. OMG I AM EVIL

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What's the difference between an alligator and an argyle sweater? There are far too many conceivable differences between the two objects to be able to give an actual definite variance between them.

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a horse is a horse. of course of course....unless its a cow

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What happen when a plane crash? Everyone on it died...

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What happens if you don't use a condom? The person you are sleeping with may get pregnant or contract some kind of STI or STD. In worse cases you or your partner may contract HIV or possibly AID's.

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? - "Where's my tractor?"

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

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What's fat, gay, and ugly. A fat, gay, and ugly guy.

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Why was six afraid of seven? He wasn't. that joke is just a way to convince you that seven is a scary number.

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srrsly, the fuk is going down here? read down It`s satanist rituals or something, Are there mmodderators that will remove this things seriusly!Moral stuf is satanism!!!!

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Why didn't the dog want to cross the road? there was a flea market on the other side.

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Why did the man's pants fall down? He was not wearing a belt and had recently lost some weight.

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why did the mushroom go to the party? because he`s a fungi

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A black man and a mexican jump off a building at the same time, who lands first? Who cares?

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A woman walked into a bar. She dragged her drunk husband off his stool and left.

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Want to hear a joke? Womens rights.

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A Black man walks into a gay bar. He has a great time because he is perfectly content with his sexuality.

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There once was a man from Peru Who dreamed he was eating his shoe He then shortly died in his sleep due to heart failure at the age of 81.

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What do you get a Jewish boy for Christmas? Nothing he died in 1943!

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What do you call a poldo thats hafl poldo a

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A Norwegian, a Swede and a Dane where having a bet on who could swim the furthest without getting wet on their hair. The Swede could have done better... The Dane did surprisingly well. The Norwegian, being bald, was disqualified. Moral: I still have some hair left!

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What do you get if you cross a human and a cow? Arrested.

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How do you make time fly? Develop a flying suit to put on a sun dial.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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