Why did the child cross the road? Nobody knows, he forgot to look both ways got hit by a truck and suffered severe head trauma leading memorie loss.

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What did the first Ethiopian say to the other? He asked for some food only to realize that the other one had already starved to death.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Why did the lightbulb cross the road? It must have had an external force acting upon it. Lightbulbs are inanimate objects and cannot make decisions or move voluntarily. Someone must have thrown it. It broke. Someone should clean it up.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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What’s the difference between a frog and a duck? One is a frog and one is a duck.

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There once was a man from Nantucket Who got his head stuck in a bucket He yanked and he yowled, he hollered and howled, Then gave up and grumbled, "Aw, I guess I'll have to go to the doctor."

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Who's gay? Justin Beaver

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Two guys walk into a bar.

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What color is the orange? Grey, I'm color blind.

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What's worse then biting into your apple and finding a worm? Biting into your apple and finding two worms.

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Roses are red Violets are red Grass is red Oh no! Someone's been murdered in my garden!

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What do people call the completely paralyzed man with no eyes? David, his name.

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2 bald men are standing on an oval, one turns to the other and says "leukemia."

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Knock knock! Who's there? ADHD ADHD wh-? SQUIRREL!

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a dyslexic man walks into a bra and realizes he is quite lucky as another man walks into a large steel pole

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Knock, Knock, Who's there? The IRS.

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What happened when the man got into the taxi? The driver shot him 17 times in the chest and ran away

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What do you call your mom? Mom

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Trouble with the trolley, eh? No

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Why was the Mexican sleeping? He wishes to decrease his risk of motor vehicle accidents.

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why was the girl raped? she left the kitchen.

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why did the teacher quit her job and become a musician? Because her class was very mean to her and growing up she had always wanted to play music

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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