- Anti Joke

An insane individual walks into a bank and asks for $500. The teller refuses since he doesn't have an account, so the individual pulls out a gun and asks the teller again. The teller presses the silent panic button, causing the cops to show up and arrest the gunman, but not before he manages to shoot the teller and the small child standing next two counters over.

A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

How do prevent a black man from robbing your house? Lock you doors and perhaps get an up-to-date security system.

Will you please answer one question for me? "Yes" Thank you. -walk away-

A woman is terminally ill in the hospital and her family is trying to decide what her last meal should be. Her older sister suggests tea and the idea is accepted enthusiastically. The other sister suggests making jasmin tea and the ill woman's son also suggests toast. The woman's husband looks down at the orange he had just peeled for his wife and looks up at the rest of them. moments later he shoots the three of them and then himself. All were found dead. http://www.dispatch.com/content/stories/local/2012/01/11/food-tiff-ends-in-deaths.html

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

roses are brown violets are brown, who took a shit in my garden

What is worse than you commiting suicide? the many years of mourning and threapy your loved ones may have to go though

How many friends does it take to catch an owl? One because he was a bird catcher.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Jokes about the Holocaust

Why did Chuck Norris fall of the cliff? Because he was pushed.

Knock knock. Who's there? Navy Seals. BOOM waiting "Yeah, he's dead." -Navy Seals

When Gronkowski spikes the ball, 20 children die.

drew edminstin is a rat

What did the dwarf do after he sore a mole? Nothing. dwarfs are mythological creatures and therefore do not exist.

Steve Jobs is alive In our Hearts <3

Knock knock" my mom says not to talk to strangers!"

What do you call a man who shoots someone? A very bad person.

So theres this Jew, right? He got shot to death.

Why do children go to school? Because they have to learn.

What did the young child with no arms and legs get for christmas? A bike.

Why was the clown in red shoes wearing skis? Because he likes to ski in red shoes, and he's a clown

What is the difference between a black man and a potato? Well, there are a great many differences. But the main one is probably that a potato is a potato, and a black man is a black man.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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