How do you minimize the likelihood of theft? Take the derivative.

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why did bob hit Jim Because bob didn't like Jim

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A man walks into a bar. He orders a Guinness.

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5 Christians, 4 Arabs, 3 Jews, and a Monkey are locked in a room with sticky bombs, hand grenades, a bible, and some bananas. What do they do? play scrabble

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What's worse than the Holocaust? 2 Holocausts

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As they went down the hill Jack tripped on a rock, falling breaking many bones including his neck. In all the hysteria, Jill fell too, however she landed on a rock and now has severe dementia. This was all for a pail of water.

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What's worse then me banging your mom? The fact that I gave her HIV

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whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and the holocaust? A pile of dead babies isn't funny

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What does an orange and a lemon have in common? They are both orange, exept lemon

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Why did the guy in the ferrari stop? -He hit the median at 100mph.

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Your Mum Is So Dumb, It Took Her 2 Hours To Watch 60 Minutes.

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What do you call a lesbian eskimo? The name she was given at birth.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 cantaloupe.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

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Did you hear the joke about the deaf mail man? No. Neither did he.

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what do a heater and a dead baby have in common? a dead baby is only warm for a small period of time

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Whats the difference between the Taliban and a Football Team? I'm not on the football team.

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Q. what is the most amazing animal in the world? A. MULLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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What hurts more than a bee sting? Child birth.

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Why is the melon having a wedding? Because it cantaloupe.

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Q: What do a dollar bill and a kite have in common A: I dont know

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A white guy, a black guy, and an asian guy are all sitting on a park bench. They share several minutes of uncomfortable silence due to cultural differences.

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knock knock ? Who's there ? idunnop idunnop who ? Eww you've done a what?!

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How do you keep your dog from running away? Put it on a leash.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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