Why did the old man miss the Alzheimer's Day walk? Because he died in his sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A man is hungry so he gets on his coat and shouts : "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!". His wife says not to because the police say the rapist 'Eggman' is out again. He says he will be very careful. On his way he hears 'They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggmen-" and the man shouts: "AND I AM THE WAlRUS, SO GET THE HECK OUTTA MY FACE OR I WILL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" The Eggman and the man found two more people from Liverpool and formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band broke up.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a man that paints on a his face and wears big shoes? Lady Gaga.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he thought he saw a dangerous predator in the area and crossed the road in an attempt to flee the dangerous situation.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Three construction workers, an Italian guy, a Mexican guy, and a American guy are sitting on top of a building eating lunch. The Italian is tired of eating meatballs, the Mexican is eating a burrito, and the American is eating a cheeseburger. They are all fed up with eating the same lunch every day. The next day they all jump off the building for unrelated reasons. It is a tragedy and their families mourn the loss.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes now you do too.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: What do you call a Chelsea fan on the moon? A: A Problem. Q: What do you call 100 Chelsea fans on the moon? A: An even bigger problem. Q: What do you call all the Chelsea fans on the moon? A: Problem solved hahaha Q: What would you get if Newcastle were relegated? A: 45,000 more Chelsea fans

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not sally.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the boy without arms get in his Christmas present? A pair of gloves. Just kidding, he didn't open it yet.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

roses are red violets are blue i done you mom a favor by making you...banana and rice don't worry it'll taste just nice

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are blue Violets are red Sugar are you And so is sweet

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What is the difference between a snail and whale? A loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down -3

joe paterno doesn't walk into a police station

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why didn't Katie cross the road? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

The last person on Earth is sitting home alone when suddenly there is a knock at the door. Knock knock Who's there? *silence* Damn this joke got creepy...

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What is the difference between a duck and a cow? One is an aquatic fowl and the other is a farmland mammal.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why can't Kim and Arnold get childern ? because they are 2 stones.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's black and blue and afraid of sex The twelve year Old boy in my trunk

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way

thumb_up thumb_down -3

- Why an Asian crossed the road? - Because he wanted to.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

autistic kids rock

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How many cops does it take to change a lightb- [Beaten to death by cops]

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did grandma get little Benjamin for Christmas? Nothing, she died last year

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the Salesman leave the leper colony? He had to wish his daughter a happy birthday.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops