Why did my pussy get wet? Because I splashed him with water. LOL SO FUNNY OMFG DA BEST JOKE EVA!!

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What did the little asian boy get for his birthday? To work for minimun wage making high quality shoes for greedy white people in North America who dont care about anybody but themselves.

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Knock, knock. Door opened.

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Friends are like trees, if you deprive them from water they'll die.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? EMS - your pregnant wife died it a car crash

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Rebecca Black walks into a bar she took the back seat

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What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!

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Ding-Dong.............no knock-knocking required

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What's the difference between a smashed watermelon and a dead black person? One is a minor slip of the hands and the other is a fatal accident involving a human being.

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Me:Oh wait, I got a joke! Friends:Oh boy, what is it? Tell us! Me:..my grandma died.. *Everyones silent* Some random guy:Oh haha, I get it! Me:Shut up, you have no friends. Some random guy: Oh........

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What is worse then a bus driver A man who drives an ice cream truck

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what did the cop say to the robber... freeze bitch hope you like prison food and penis

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Why do the following sentences never have anything to do with the roses and violets?

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What do you get when an elephant and a pig have baby? Nothing, mating between animals must take place between animals of the same species, thus making it impossible to cross these two animals

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What did Jesus say as he walked on water and people went like WOHOO! OMG WE ARE TOTALLY GOING TO CHISEL THIS INTO JEWTUBE SO EVERYONE CAN SEE! "BEHOLD AS I WALK UPON THIS WATER WHILE ALL OF YOU HAVE FAILED BEFORE ME! ONLY I CAN WALK OF THIS WATER OF FROZEN WITHOUT SLIPPING! Nero: Because go fuck yourself asshole. Lol... Jewtube was not as widely available as youtube so yeah... Walking on ice without falling over was a big thing back then... You know such as OMG! EATING BREAD AND DRINKING WINE! WOOOOOOAAAAH SCIENCE! AND BURNING BUSHES SPOKE AND... Moral: "Ill be back, you know, just to annoy you, and because I want to, a real man needs no other reason, and that is why you fuckers need so many of them"

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Why didn't cancer cross the road? Because it was to busy taking my family.

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Rick Ross is so fat, that he is fatter than someone who isn't as fat as he is.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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penis

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Why was the black man hired at the clothing store? He needed some money to feed his family.

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What starts with f and ends in uck? Firetruck.

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What did the orphan boy get for Christmas? Exactly what he had asked for because UNICEF do a wonderful job.

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Q: What is green, jumps and says i'm a frog? A: A frog that talks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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