Why did the man cry when he went to the doctor? He has a terminal illness progressed to the point of cure and would die in 3 hours.

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knock knock who's there? It's Jim we haven't seen each other since college Why hello there come on in

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What did the guy say to the mushroom? You're a fungi

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What did the single woman get for Christmas? Raped.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She was a donut.

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A paraplegic walks into a bar.

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What do you get when you cross a parrot and a beach ball? A beach ball with a parrot design on it.

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A deranged serial killer walks into a bar. No one leaves because he looks like a normal guy.

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Why can't a Tyrannosaurus-Rex clap? It's Dead.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You just lost the game UMAD Bro?

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What do you call an Aboriginal in a yellow sleeping bag? An organised man, ready for the harsh winter ahead.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to!

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? ... A boy played in mud.

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline. Notice how Anti-Joke MISSPELLED "user", writing "uses" instead. Probably most of you didn't notice until I posted this :)

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a man walked in to a bar and said 'outch'

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there" "BOO" "BOO WHO" "No it's just BOO"

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This is a little story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was an important job to be done and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought that Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done

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Q: What did the schizophrenic man say to his father? A: "Every time grandmother's urn shrieks, this pornography turns to black ink."

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There was a guy and a girl naked in bed, sleeping together. When they woke up they didn't remember the last 72 hours and wanted some questions answered, including Where am I? Who are you? What year is it? What's my name?

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Your mother is so fat that she once ate an entire peach cobbler in one sitting and chastised herself yet again for her lack of self-control over her eating habits and her need to fill the holes in her self esteem with the short-lived gratification she gains from eating too much of the foods she finds tasty.

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What does a chocolate bar and a dolphin have in common? Nothing

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: So it could get hit by a car, to prove that chickens have free will, and have every right to cross a road without any particualar reason.

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you wanna hear a good anti joke?, so do i

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whats orange and cant talk? an orange

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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