teacher: what do you call a math book with no writing in it?! student: idk what? teacher: a notebook! student: ok... thanks

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what did the cat say to the monkey meow then he got hit by a car

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roses are green violets are green i was drunk last night

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a man was shot.... he died

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Why did Susie fall off the swingset? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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My penis is so big that some women find it uncomfortable.

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Your mom is so stupid, she thought the square root of pie was 3.14156

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So an African, Asian, and White man walk into a bar, what do they all have in common? Believe it or not, they all liked cantaloupe.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Where's my tractor

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The man that loved birds so much that he played golf just to get a birdie.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Rhyming is hard, Zebra.

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so... how about that airplane food

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Why was the Jamaican man smoking pot? His doctor prescribed it. The man has a serious case of glaucoma.

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What do you call a seagull that flew into the bay? Wet.

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why did the black boy read a book. Because he had a book report due next week

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Sarah went to church one day and went into the confession booth with her pastor. He made sure nobody was in the church, and proceeded to allow her to confess. He didn't molest her. However, when Sarah got home her abusive stepfather beat her to death in an alcoholic rage and shot himself. It was on the news.

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did you know why people keep saying "you know...you know..." in their conversation? well i don't know

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:) Hey AMBY VALENT! Want to join our horsehead show below?? *Laughing track with that fat loud bitch that wont stop laughing making the actors stare at each other like douches* :/ Muuh, I dont really care im just some meh character anyway so yuh...' *Laughing track* ? ???? ORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORA! :( Hey get outta our show here you China man! *OOOH! Track plays with some fa*ott whistling* ? ???? | Baka! *leaves* *Awww track plays* *Laughing track*

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what do you get if you put a baby in a microwave? an erection

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Q. What do you call a deceased rodent A. Deadmau5

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a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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What do you call a mexican with a broom in his hand? a man who likes to keep his office at his own company clean

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So, a bulldozer rolls into a bar, there is no bar now.

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what do you call a redneck virgin? a seven year old that can run faster than her brothers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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