how many birds did chuck norris kill with one stone? one.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why should children always be nice? Because the evil christmas demon KRAMPUS will rip their ears off, put them in a bag and beat them with a stick!

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What starts with F and ends with Uck? F U C K

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why are bowling balls racist? They are not because bowling balls are incapable of having feeling therfore they cannot have racial thoughts or actions.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What happened to the jew that donated? Stop thinking, jews dont donate.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Do you like fishsticks No

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Want to hear a joke? Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why couldnt the dog bark? The dog didnt exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How many pieces of toast can you eat in 1 year? well, it depends on how many pieces you eat in one day, does it count snacks, or full meals of just toast, can you eat even when your not hungary, if you throw up does it still count? If it is 1 piece a day, it would be 365.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy. "Can I touch it?" "No way -- you already broke yours off!"

thumb_up thumb_down +33

c======3

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why was the girl crying? She had just been severely raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did little Jimmy fall off his bike? Because I threw a fridge at him.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Who is worse then Charlie Sheen? Hitler.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What did the man with no arms say to the jewish man? I have no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why was the little kid sad at a funeral. He was actually happy and he was at six flags

thumb_up thumb_down +33

roses are red, violets are blue, ive no money for presents, happy christmas everybody

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the little girl fall off the swings? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did John get hard? He froze to death

thumb_up thumb_down +31

"Knock Knock" "You know the doorbell is working?" "Oh, well, you know I'm here now. May I come in?" "Yes, have a cup of tea"

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why do so many black people like watermelon? The same reason so many white people, do. Have you had that stuff, it's really good!

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm gonna f*ck you with a rake.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Q:What's black and white and red all over? A: An interracial couple in a car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops