Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Where was the declaration of independes? At the bottom

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: What did the blind boy get for his birthday? A: He doesn't know

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the black man shoot the white guy? the white man was about to hurt the black mans family.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

The once was a little girl named Suzy who liked swings; the only trouble was that she had no arms. In order to avoid having any jokes written (and recycled thousands of times) about this fact, she decided to run a sponsored marathon in order to pay for prosthetic arms. Suzy swung happily for the rest of her days. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +14

whats 1 + 1? 2

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the tourist cross the road? He was sightseeing.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Your Momma is sooooo poor, she struggles day by day to feed you and your 8 siblings while keeping a roof over your head.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

The Moon Landing.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

three white men are running after a black man,, the black man is winning the race

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I was going to write a racist joke but there was too many black people watching me.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What happened when the ugly girl asked her crush out on a date? He said yes. He found her personality quite attractive

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man walks into a bar. He was the barman. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the moose cross the road? Migration.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

whats funny? this joke. just kidding. your face.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How did the man with no legs get around? He was assisted by a nurse or relative who was kind enough to take on such a task.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the chicken cross the road? -I do not believe chickens like being questioned of their motives. We should leave them alone.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How does he keep getting girls to sleep with him? Bear-traps..

thumb_up thumb_down +14

bangers and mash?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How did Darth Vader know what Luke Skywalker got for Christmas? He's his dad. He bought the presents.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why does everyone treat Jesus as some sort of saint for making five thousand people bread, when Hitler made six million people toast?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Osama Bin Laden

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did little nancy call the police? Because her dad beats her toaster up.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why some people don't get the flu twice? Because they died!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops