Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the van.

A man asks a young boy to get in his van. The kid, being very well-educated tells the man he cannot talk to strangers. So, the man tells the kid he understands, and drives away to another nearby child.

Why was the Black man running with a T.V.? Because he had just purchased a new LCD FlatScreen from BestBuy, and a torrential downpour had just began and he didn't have a free hand to hold up his umbrella.

Why did Elliot Spitzer cross the road? To go have sex with a hooker.

how many high school boys does it take to change a light bulb?? idk the light bulb in my bathroom is out and i need to know how many boys to call over to fix it.

A man walked into a bar. He said ow.

why did the donkey kick the men bc he tryed to pen the tail on hes ass

Roses are red Violets are blue You're parents are dead All your friends are too

What do you call 25 college teens at a party? A good time.

What's the difference between your mother and a prostitute? Nothing.

How do you pacify Hitler? Give him jews.

Why did the kid have a toy truck? because he bought it

A bear walks in a restaurant and asks for a table for one. Meanwhile, everyone else in the restaurant is freaking out because there is a bear in there

How do you get Pikachu onto a bus? You ask him politely.

Why was the black man hired at the clothing store? He needed some money to feed his family.

What is worse then a bus driver A man who drives an ice cream truck

What did the caterpillar say when he emerged from his chrysalis? I am a butterfly.

KNOCK KNOCK who's there? OUCH! what's your door knob made of? nails?

Why did Michael Jackson name his kid blanket? Because after years of drug abuse and sexual insecurity led to him thinking unrealistically during the birth of his children.

--- ___________________--- Can you tell what it is? Yes... Then what is it? Its a blanket,duh! ......

There are two fish in a tank and one says to the other, "how do we drive this thing?"

why did the chicken cross the road? because there were no cars coming and it seemed like a safe time to cross

What sinks quickly to the bottom of a river? Your dead parents.

What's yellow and cant walk? The Sun

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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