What do you get when you cross a cheetah and a zebra? A dead zebra.

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What do you call a mexican with a broom in his hand? a man who likes to keep his office at his own company clean

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Q: How do you confuse more than 80% of the population? A: Mushrooms.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's white and sticky? A stick painted white.

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Rose's are red, violets are red, trees are red, bushes are red, oh God the garden's on fire.

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How come Pluto and Goofy are both dogs, but Goofy can talk and Pluto can't? Because Goofy can walk on two legs, and is therefore superior to Pluto in Walt Disney's eyes.

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Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy wishes the same.

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Q: How do you get an elephant in a refrigerator in three easy steps? A: You open the refrigerator door, you put the elephant inside, you close the refrigerator door. Q": How do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator in four easy steps? A": You open the refrigerator door, you take the elephant out, you put the giraffe inside, you close the refrigerator door.

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why did the chicken cross the road? who cares its a chicken.

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What do you call a jewish person at a construction site? A builder

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knock knok whos there? Jacob Jacob who? U know, your friend!

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What did the hat say to the scarf? Nothing.

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Why should children always be nice? Because the evil christmas demon KRAMPUS will rip their ears off, put them in a bag and beat them with a stick!

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As a kid I was always told that school would get me good places. As an adult, I have found that there is another thing that gets you into a good place. Shrooms.

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Why did Bert go to the doctor? He had an appointment.

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You know what happened when I kissed a girl? I enjoyed it so immensely that I received an erection.

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FUS RO DAH!!!

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Two black guys walk into a bar the bartender says get out

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

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Doctor: Why the long face? Elephant Man: That's not my face that's a tumor.

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Q: What do you call justin bieber? A: gay

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans.

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Q: Who wants a chick with big breasts? A: Everyone apparently, because chickens are being genetically engineered that way because people are racist about what part of the chicken then want to eat. The white meat or the dark meat. Guess what? Now they can't walk because they are top heavy. And who's fault is that? The people who only eat the white meat.

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What's brown and smells like shit? Shit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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