Stop me if you heard this one before.

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Stop making 9/11 jokes their just plane unfunny

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Hi! This is Ms.McGruder you two boys in my office at 3:00 p.m. today

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't know any better. It very recently was decapitated in order tofeed the farmers family.

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-What did the policeman say to the boy? -Hello.

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Jokes are dumb. Stories are better. Did you ever hear the story of the blind man who walked into the fish market and said, "Evenin' ladies!"?

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Q: If 2+2=Fish, then what does 3+3=? A: 6.

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What do you call a cat with no tail? A Manx cat

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There were two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Does it feel hot in here?". The other muffin says back, "Holy crap! It's a talking muffin!".

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why are the Harold and Kumar movies really funny? the man who wrote obvieusly has a good sense of humor.

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q. a whale walks into a bar. The bartender asks"why are you wailling?" A. I my 3 year-old son died.

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Two tomatoes were crossing a road when one of them got hit by a truck. The other said, Carrot.

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what did the dog say to the mailman? woof.

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Justin Bieber's voice sounds like Michael J. Fox playing a theramin.

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I have a joke that involves a duck. Can you guess what it is? If not, then.......uh...........sorry.

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Q: what's blue and kills you when it falls from the sky? A: a whale no shit

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper doesn't respond because he is a grasshopper and therefore can't talk.

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I used to be an Adventurer like you, but then i took and arrow to the Elbow.

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Wanna hear a joke? Me to.

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Why are lawers are so scared of Jerry bryant? Because he bites

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Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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How can you tell the difference between Brooke Colbert or any other girl Jesse has been with? It's easy, Brooke the only one Jesses ever been with. They even share the same bra size.

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Why did little Susie fall off the swing? Because she fell out the window and landed in soot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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