- Anti Joke

Do you know what color comes after 9?

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs water skiing? An anchor

Once upon a time there was a boy who got ran over by a truck. No one cared.

Jake was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds and it better be there!!" The next morning he got up early and told his wife to come to the driveway. His wife looks down and sees a scale.

Why did the man fart? He didn't. Stop being so dirty-minded.

NEVER

A man walks into a bar... has a beer then leaves to his beautiful wife and his 2 children

A blond walks into an electronics store. Then she promptly walks out, as she got the wrong store.

If you throw a red stone in a blue lake what does it become? Simply a wet stone.

A blonde goes to school, and completes a difficult math problem.

Why did the man not get home to his loving family? He blew up.

What's red and the size of a packet of crisps? A Miscarriage

one time someone wrote an anti-joke, hoping for lots of likes, which give one a sense of validation. nope.

How Dow you make a baby stop crying?? Hit it with a brick By smash45

What's the difference between Elisabeth Fritzl and Pope John Paul II? Pope John Paul II wasn't imprisoned and raped continuously over a 24 year period in a horrific act of cruelty by his father

Did you know Helen Keller had a playhouse in her backyard? Well if you didn't, it was quite nice. I was her neighbor.

Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

How can you treble the value of any Skoda car? Ensure its paintwork, upholstary, floor, lights, wipers, steering wheel, brake, horn, CD player, radio and clutch are clean and/or sound; fill its petrol tank, oil, brake and winscreen wiper fluid reserves; fit a roof rack; include a red triangle, a fire extinguisher, a blanket and a first aid kit in the sale; take out comprehensive insurance and pay a year's road tax and MOT before selling it.

We are both missing the picture here friend, those bastards chose to fuck up my eye themselves, and while I do not completely trust you, (as far as I know you might still be a faggotqueer trying to mindfuck me), I trust you enough to take my chances. As for my eye, its fucked, I see light with it, and that is pretty much what I am going to keep seeing from it besides it looks like shit, on the bright side I look 20 percent more bad ass with an eye-patch than without, I am physically and mentally scarred, and as far as physically goes, I dig the look. Dont worry, you seem overly concerned about what people here are gonna think, it is ironic how the shitty system here makes it so easy to hide ones identity, you know if people do it right, know nothing about computers myself.

What's Black,White and red all over? A black person with a skin disease on her period.

What did the robot say to the child? Nothing, he malfunctioned and strangled him. Despite the authorities best efforts to free the kid, he was still strangled because robots are really strong. After killing the boy, the robot self destructed and leveled 5 city blocks everyone within the vicinity was killed.

HOLY SHIT, THIS ACTUALLY WORKS!! 1. Hold your breath? for 5 minutes. 2. Die

Q: what's the difference between a young, geeky kid living in Wisconsin's basketball and Yao Ming's basketball? A: young, geeky kids cannot live in Wisconsin's basketball. Wisconsin is a state, and states cannot own objects because they aren't sentient beings. And Yao Ming's basketball... is just a regular basketball that happens to be owned by Yao Ming.

whats bloop with an m? matthew

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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