Q: Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M Factory? A: It's hard to say. HR can not discuss the details of her termination, and the blonde signed a non-discloure agreement. She has since relocated to Biloxi with her family and is doing quit well.

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What did the Chinese man do with the sick dog he found in the alleyway? He took it to the vet, nursed it back to health, and later helped the dog get adopted by a nice family down the street.

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how many pancakes does it take to get fat if u answered this question your already fat

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What do you call two black men sitting on the porch? Craig and Smokey

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Why did the chicken cross the road? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . His family was experiencing financial troubles, and needed money. He tried applying for many jobs, but they just didn't quite work out. After ending up in the drug business to support his family, a deal went bad and he was shot, landing him in the hospital. The night his family arrived to check on him, the same shooter made his way to his room, and murdered his wife and 3 children, and somehow managed to evade police. Months after this incident, Ralph, the same chicken who was in the hospital and witnessed his family's murder, was finally released. He had nothing to live for, nothing to look forward to in the future. He took up alcohol abuse for some time, until realizing what truly had to be done. He began tracking down his family's killer, and with each day spent, he became closer and closer to discovering the dealer's whereabouts. One day, he finally figured out who it was. As he arrived at the killers' home, he took one last deep breath, then stormed in. After fighting through many of the dealers' body-guards, Ralph finally reached the notorious drug dealing murder, Foghorn Leghorn. As a bloody battle ensued, it was clear who the winner would be.. As Ralph staggered out of the destroyed home, bloodied, yet victorious, he realized something. All the tracking, all the killing, all the bloodshed he had created, was all in vain. He realized that taking Foghorn's life didn't, and wouldn't, bring his family back. Finding himself dumbfounded, he began to trot, head down, through the field where the bad drug deal happened, almost a year ago now. He took one last deep breath, looked at the stars, and took his first step on the road. This was it he decided, he was finally going to reunite with his family again once more. As the headlights raced towards him, he heard his family in unison whisper to him "You're finally home Ralph, you're finally home."

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Q: A plane crashes on the boarder of Mexico and America, where do you bury the survivors. A: You don't because there were none, everyone fucking died!

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A blonde girl walks into a hairdressers and asks for a slight trim. She leaves the hairdressers fairly happy with the result although she was unhappy with the price which she later concluded was most likely because of the rising inflation. However overall she felt it had been a successful outing.

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Chuck Norris has a chin under his beard.

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You know you're drunk when you've spend a significant amount of time consuming alcohol.

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Why did the snappy dresser take a button off of a coat? To see a button fly! NO YOU IDIOT YOU DID IT WRONG, IT'S SUPPOSED TO ABOUT ABOUT A "BUTTER FLY" OMG YOU DOLT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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go up to some one and say "i told you it would happen" with a straight face and walk away. it should cause a LOT of confusion.

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A priest, a pedophile, and a child rapist walks into a bar. He orders a beer.

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What makes Amish bread different than regular bread? It's made by Amish people

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An old man walks across the street. Several cars start to honk in irritation, for they are in a hurry and the man is walking quite sluggishly.

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"I know it. I can feel it in my nuggets." -Chicken Joe

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knock knock whos there cops o shit come on they found out about pot lets go

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your life

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What's worse than getting punched in the balls? Many things inflict more pain than that

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? Because he's rich...

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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GAWS SI EKOJITNA

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How do you get rich? Cut chunks off a fat person with a cleaver and sell them to china.

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If I tell you that seeing you happy, is my main motivation towards accepting right now, would you believe me?

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You are like really sincere aren't you? I really appreciate that in a friend. Thank you for being who you are Nero.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops