- Anti Joke

What did the sad man say to the happy man? He didn't say anything he was so sad he killed himself.

What was the last thing to go through Kurt Cobain's mind? His teeth.

There are 10 fish, 5 of them drown, how many are left? 10, fish can't drown

2 girls talking to each other: brunette: Christmas is on Friday this year blonde: let's hope its not on Friday the 13th!!!!!

your mommas so fat she has been advised to diet and excercise or run the risk of terminal illness

Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

Phil sees a hitchhiker wandering past his car on the sidewalk. He asks Phil if he can take him to his house, and Phil says no, and keeps driving. Six seconds later the hitchhiker is crossing the street in search of somebody else, when he is hit by a bus and dies.

A man walks into a bar. The second man sees the first man's mistake and ducks. The third man needs to take no precautions as he is a midget and can simply walk under the bar.

BIble verses: (secret bible code breaker edition) 90.01: Might thy level of power rise above the scouter of Vegebles 3.14: Thy shall make use of pee 6:9 Oral interaction is good for thee. 9:6: Peter said, lordeth this is no good, then the lordet said, try 6:9 and all was good. 6.66 Calleth upon this number on thy cell to speak with the beast. 9:11 This number shall aid you when in danger if thy have a cell, but not against the fallen by and Al Caida. 8:00 Call upon thy cellphone at no cost. 5.99 Thy use of plays of station three, areth too expensive... Whoops! Amen and RIIIIIIIIIIDGE RACER! 50:50 Thy shall share equally. 6:19: Thy shall use thy wrestling moves well. 20:00 Thy shall noth uset this windows version as it sucketh.' 88:88 Thy shall create four equal snowmen for me. 12.34 Read this and thy shall learn to count til four. 7:77 The number of the luck. X:B0X: It sucketh hard. 3:60 it sucketh far more than the original 9:99 Is the number to defeateth the beast while he is resting upside down 0:13 "and samuel said, but oh lord, I am a teen now!" And the lord agreed and all was good. Ok, I got to decode my bible further, yes indeed!

.why did 6 hate 7 and 8? because they were blocking her from 9!

What do you call sad communities that have to share resources? Communists.

What do you call a fish with no fins? Dead.

Hey i heard You were a wierd kid ooooooooooalskdfjaslkdfj

We're no strangers to love You know the rules and so do I A full commitment's what I'm thinking of You wouldn't get this from any other guy I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you We've known each other for so long Your heart's been aching, but You're too shy to say it Inside, we both know what's been going on We know the game and we're gonna play it And if you ask me how I'm feeling Don't tell me you're too blind to see Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you (Ooh, give you up) (Ooh, give you up) Never gonna give, never gonna give (Give you up) Never gonna give, never gonna give (Give you up) We've known each other for so long Your heart's been aching, but You're too shy to say it Inside, we both know what's been going on We know the game and we're gonna play it I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? "Get in the car."

An Asian, a white man and a black man were running in a race. The Asian won and the black man came second due to his lack of training and motivation over the past couple of months.

What's worse then one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse then two bee stings? The Holocaust . What worse then the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

one day i went on a swing, somone pushed me and i fell broke my leg,cracked three ribs, cut my lip, fractured my toe and died of internal bleeding to my brain.

How many dead babies does it take to fill a bathtub? It is highly unlikely one would have a supply of dead babies large enough to answer this question.

Whats two plus two? Miles

Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? They do. In fact, seagulls can be found near almost any body of water.

It's Christmas in Iraq. Merry Christmas

someone says they've been "dying laughing"... no they haven't; they're quite capable of still breathing and functioning in every day life.

I was gonna make a joke about a my dick... Racecar

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops