How do you annoy a farmer? Shoot his wife.

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A bear walks into a bar and kills every one

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It's April Fool's Day and a little boy runs up to his mom. "Daddy hung himself! He's in the attic!" The mom runs up to the attic, but the dad's not there. The boy looks at his mom and says, "April fools! He's in the basement!"

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What's worse than bombs? Nukes

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Q:What do African American men call the Internet? A:The Internet

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What do you call a fish that isn't moving? Dead.

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What did Goldilocks ask the Three Bears? Nothing, bears are aggressive mammals and killed her before she could speak.

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Police Officer: Please step out of the car, sir Jimmy: Xbox...

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if you can raed tihs steence it menas you are ceelvr eugnoh to uendnrstad tihs: no sex cusaes dgdoy eeys

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What is the difference between a boyscout and a Jew? Boys outs come home from camp.

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Why did the boy throw the clock out the window? He was severely depressed.

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Superman, Batman and Spiderman are all in a race. Who wins? Grow up. Superheros aren't real.

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so a man walks into a bar...... He has a couple laughs over some drinks then went home.

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What does Santa Claus keep in his gardening shed? Nothing. Santa Claus isn't real.

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What is the difference between baseball and the holocaust? One is a fun sporting event…. The other is baseball.

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Did you hear about the new German oven? Seats 40.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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An Irish man walks into his home and orders a drink.

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What's yellow, long, hard, and moves up and down? A banana in an elevator...

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven has a hook for one of his hands carries a chain saw in the other an gets into six's dreams...thats just scary

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5 little monkeys jumping on the bed. one fell off and bumped his head. momma called the doctor and the doctor said "your son is now a vegetable. he can no longer use his brain for things such as moving, talking, or eating. you are going to have to take care of him for the rest of his life. it is also going to be a burden on you and your husband because taking care of someone in this condition is very expensive, and could end up costing thousands of dollars each year."

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Your dad is so abusive that he hurts you when he losses his temper

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A Stick!

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A man walks in to a bar, wakes up the next morning with the news that they have found a cancerous tumor in his neck.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops