What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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I am very humble.

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What did the woman say when she ate crabs. This smells like my vagina (This women died slowly from crabs)

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Why Russians ride bears? Because god hate bears

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Roses are red violets are blue..... I have normal vision

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Roses are red , Violets Are Blue , i Dont Like rhyming , TITTIES !!

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Q.who is Tiny, a lion and has no friends and is a bald eagle? A.Rory Johnston

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In the movie, Full Metal Jacket, my favorite part was when the entire platoon beat PVT. Pyle with hard soap while he was tied down. Actually I am lying. That part was extremely cruel.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, it won't go to you anyways.

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What do you do when life hands you lemons? Go home, look for the ingredients on which to make proper, delicious lemonade. Afterward, I would go in the front yard, make a stand, then make a sign that says $1.00 lemonade. Then you know make millions on your master-mind plan that no one else ever thought of.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? I've often heard that a room with a million monkeys with a million typewriters, given enough time; would eventually reproduce the complete works of Shakespeare. This seems to suggest that if something has an extremely low chance of happening, it will still eventually happen if enough attempts are made. However, I feel that the aforementioned scenario, given enough time to play out, would only result in a room full of dead monkeys. Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why would the chicken cross a road

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because She's Dead.

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Why did 'Mister Love' get arrested? Clue: One of the most ironic things ever You can guess

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roses are red violets are blue i done you mom a favor by making you...banana and rice don't worry it'll taste just nice

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Who smells like urine and his da is a registered sex offender with madeline mccann in his house? Aodhan hearty, May I also include he looks like a bug. Oh and don't forget the rot on his teeth, it is fucking disgusting. It really looks like he hasn't brushed his teeth in quite a substantial period of time, in my opinion, he is the only person who is actually comparible to sean.

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What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? Nothing, it didn't get stuck in the first place because cows are incapable of climbing trees.

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When Miley Cyrus sticks out her tongue, people usually are there to take a photograph.

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knock knock who's there me me who It's me your son who was in prison for 6 years for false charges of attempted homicide

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So when I came home from work the other day, I saw tha my dog was foaming at the moth, so I took him to the vet It turns out that my dog didn't have a thing for marshmallows but had rabies instead and was promptly put down.

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how many jews does it take for me to be able to have sex with my cousin's girlfriend? idk, but that's how many I need. actually let me have some extras. couldn't hurt.

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If you're head weren't attached to your shoulders... you'd be dead.

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My asian freind died recently... But on another note why did the chicken cross the road.Crosing the road is a metaphor for killing yourself and the chicken is my asian freind.

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A black man walks into a... nevermind, this joke is dumb.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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