Your mother is so fat that I suggest she should pay a visit to the nutritionist so they can work out a dieting plan together to prevent weight-related heart problems in the near future.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

YES! EXACTLY!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what did the boy with cancer get for christmas? i dont know he's jewish

thumb_up thumb_down -14

How do you kill a blonde? You stab her.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What happened to the disabled man who went to Disneyland? He had a great time.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Your mom is so old that she has a lot of wrinkles because that's what happens to people when they get old.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

An Octopus walked into a bar. He then died as he had been out of his natural habitat for an exceedingly long period of time. An octopus can only survive on land for 30 minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's do you call two bulls, a goat, and a horse? Farm A nimals

thumb_up thumb_down -14

if you're jesus and you know it, clap your hands

thumb_up thumb_down -14

DEATH.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A dad says to his son "you better stop masturbating or youll go blind'. And the son says "dad im over here".

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witness

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did Susan fall of the swing? She had no arms... Knock Knock... Who's there? Not Susan...

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Yo momma's so fat she ate Sally's arms. Knock Knock Who's There. The police we have a warrant for your mothers arrest on charges of cannibalism and kidnapping.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What is the difference between a cow and a clam one is bivalve and one is a mammal

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What's black, white, and red all over? A painting with black, white and red paint.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says "what is this, some kind of joke?!"

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A polish guy Is sick of being made fun of for his ethnicity, so he decides that he is going to act Italian thinking that no one makes fun of Italians. He stays home for weeks to practice this and one day walks out, up to a store and says"eh, get me some lasagna and zucchini !" the man at the store asks if he's polish.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean? A tragic drowning victim. And later, food for sharks, probably.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A black man walks into KFC. the whole room..THE GAME.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A tiger walks into a bar, the patrons ran out terrified.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a person that is green, wearing plaid, and standing next to you in the elevator? What ever their name is

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why can't you get a bull to talk? Because it felt like beating the shit out of you and mounting you.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Oh you're dating my ex? Do you want my unfinished sandwhich too? And my old shoes? And a couple of my shirts I don't wear anymore? How about a my toys I used to play with? Or my spoiled pickle that's been in my car for about a year and a half after I went to the mall with my friends, we watched a movie, I don't remember which one it was but it was funny, then after that we went to McDonald's and it was the first time I heard of McGangbang and it was pretty good. After that I think we went to Jerry's cousin's house, he was a cool guy until I found out that he likes Tyga, so I ended up never talking to him again.... I went off topic, sorry

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops