whats black, then white, then dead all over? Michael jackson

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff.

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Q. How do you make a fruit punch? A. In a punch bowl, mix together fruit punch, pineapple juice and ginger ale. Add scoops of sherbet into the punch. Wait for the sherbet to begin melting, approximately 10 minutes, stir gently, and serve.

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Why was the woman happy to give birth to a beautiful, healthy child? Just kidding, she had an abortion.

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Why did the little girls ice cream melt? Because she was on fire.

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Who is happpier than the grouch about the Zombie Apoclypse? Dora.

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My Penis is so big. How big is it? If you lay my penis down beside another similarly lengthy object, approximately 10" long, it would most likely surpass the length of the object you chose to measure it to.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have PTSD. Time to kill myself.

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Why did the boy drop the ice cream? Because he had a seizure.

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Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He had a stroke.

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Q: What has four eyes but can't see? A: A blind guy with glasses

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What happens to a fish with no fin on the right side? It repeatedly swims in a circle.

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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What's worse than a trash can of dead babies? The one at the bottom that has to eat it's way out.

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What do you get when you cross an African, a white person, an Asian and a Spaniard? Society's worst nightmare

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What is duke oxtoby? legend.

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What did the crowd do when a lion walked into the bar? Got up and left because they realized the potential danger of the situation.

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You know what they say about people with big feet? Big shoes.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

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What do you call a dog that can't pass an Algebra test? A dog.

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Why did the police arrest the Escalade full of black men? Reckless driving. I lied, it was an asian woman.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? He was mauled by a bear!

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I was lying in bed looking at the stars in the sky What did i think to myself? Were the heck is the ceiling???

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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