A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen and warns him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and otherwise damaging consequences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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Q: How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Well considering the weight of a fly is 1.2 grams, and the weight of a light bulb is 50 grams (and this is assuming that the fly can lift its own body weight) it would take 41.6 flies. But also considering the fact, that the .6th of a fly is impossible, because it is more than likely to be deceased, it is impossible for flies to screw in a light bulb.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ahmadinejad. Well then get the **** away from my door!

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What is black and white and red all over? A nun that just fell down the stairs.

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Miškinis gerai prikolina.

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What do you all a black person on the moon? An Astronaut

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A midget walked under a bar.

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Jack Stevens

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Do you like waffles yeah we like waffles do you like pancakes do you like french toast yeah we like french toast dododododod let me get a mouth full. WAFFLES!!!!!!!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt, it was hit by a car

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Roses are red, violets are blue. You're dog is dead. And so is your family.

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i am blue you are red ive got a face look at it look at it i say

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by 5 black guys? The president. -Harrison

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What do you call Helena… A Shady palm tree

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Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducks, as he saw the first two men previously walking into it, and it looks like it rather hurt.

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Honey, it really is such a tragedy that my sense of sight doesn't function properly. I've missed out on many beautiful things in my lifetime.

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WOMENS RIGHTS

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A duck walks into a bar, but he is kicked out because he is not 21

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Woman's Rights

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what's worse than being chased by a turtle? being chased by an angry turtle

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Roses are blue Violets are red I shot your valentine Straight in the head

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What can hitler cook well Steak

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What did the blonde do when she reached the traffic lights? She stopped, as the lights were red.

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I'm dressing up as a shia for halloween

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops