What do you call a black man stealing your tv? A thief

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What happends when two gay guys want to have kids? They can't, so they go to an orphanage and adopt one.

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How did the rock cross the road? It didn't cause it's a rock.

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Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? They're really good at it

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the economy.

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10 years ago we had Steve Jobs, Bob Hope, and Jonny Cash. Now we have?

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? He has retinopathy of prematurity and was born blind.

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ding dong thats right no knock on door anymore

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What is worse than being paralyzed from the neck down Nothing

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A duck walks into a bar and the bartender--TOAST

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An Asian man fails a math test

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Why do dead babies go to funerals? They don't.

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A man runs into a bar, sits down in a hurry and demands a beer from the bartender. The bartender looks at him wearily, but shrugs, pours him a beer and sets it down in front of him. The fat naked man then drinks the beer and leaves.

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Two goldfish are swimming in the ocean. One says to another, "I don't think we will be able to survive in this salty environment".

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roses are red, violets are violet.

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Why couldn't the young pirate get in to the movie? Because he wasn't old enough.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? A: This is a highly unlikely circumstance due to the fact that there are no wild chickens and most chicken coops are nowhere near a road

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Why are there so many smiths in the phonebook? Because they all have phones.

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Why did the boy throw butter out the window? To test the principles of gravity.

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Guess what? What? Your dog is dead.

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A man with Down's Syndrome walks into bar. Bartender asks, "why the long face?"

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At home, 3:20 pm - Close eyes for 10 mins, it's 3:30. At school, 3:20 pm - Close eyes for 20 mins, it's 3:40 and schools been finished for ten minutes.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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why did the boy fall off his bicycle? because his dad threw a refrigerator at him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops