Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, your wife and kids die.

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yo mama is so dumb, she got all Fs on her report

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So a man walks into a bar… and gets a bad bruise and a big bump.

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Roses are dead Violets are too Were all gonna die So are you.

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Abbie im pretty sure your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory

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What do you call a blonde prostitute your bitch

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How did the chef bake 20 muffins for the king? My name is Bob.

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roses are red violets are blue a pyschorapist just ate me refrigerator

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Two scientists walk into a bar The first says “I’ll have some H2O.” The second says “I’ll have some H2O, too.” Both of them receive water because the bartender is not irresponsible enough to serve concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.

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What's worse than slipping on a bannana peel? The Gestapo. Go to Aushwitz now.

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Your mom is so poor that she can't even pay attention.

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"hey woody can i ask you a question" "sure buzz" "why is it your name is woody but they use me as a vibrator"

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a tire swing? A: I don't have a tire swing hanging in my backyard.

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whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bucket 5 are alive and eating the others

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one.

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An Anthony eats a juicy pickle.

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How come little billy couldn't ride a tricycle? Because he was born without legs due to a rare disease and therefore can't pedal.

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Nero, thank you for this opportunity, I desire to join the shadows, I left a thumbs up. Michelle

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What do you get when you cross a surfer and a black man? An angry surfer and an angry black man. You really should be nicer to people.

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What did the salami say to the ham? Nothing; meat can not talk

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"Hey dude, wanna come with me??" "Sure! Where????" "To the gorcery store, I need to buy a couple of lemons."

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why did the two girls fight? Because they were mad at eachother.

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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