whats worse than finding a worm in your apple getting blow jobed by a giant squirrel

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? It doesn't really matter but I wouldn't actually call anything because they have very sensitive hearing and will probably panic and, being blind, might collide with a tree.

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Why did George smoke weed? Because he was depressed after his wife died and couldn't get over the fact that he would be lonely forevermore.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

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The morning of her 16th birthday, April's parents presented her with a young racehorse named Bolt. Bolt was energetic and strong the first two days, easily trotting around their 4 acre estate, but the following morning, when April went out to bring Bolt his breakfast, she found him leaning on his stable, head down, slowly rolling side to side. Upon seeing her newfound friend in distress, she promptly asked, "Are you okay Bolt? Why the long face?" Soon after, April realized that she had made a clever pun and grinned childishly. April's glory was short lived however, when Bolt suddenly collapsed due to an aortic aneurysm. Having spent most of their retirement on this racehorse, April's parents sold the ranch and moved into a retirement home, disgracing their daughter for not taking care of their steed. April, believing herself to be the culprit for Bolt's death, later committed suicide.

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Why did the black man quit his job as a rapper? Because he was an admirable father and husband and was willing to sacrifice his passion to provide for those he loved.

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What's the difference between gun and penis? A child doesn't start to cry when gun shoots in its mouth.

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Engage in a lively debate with a friend, and when they are about to stump you, respond to whatever they say next with "What does that have to do with the price of tea in China?"

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Replacement Referees

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Dave: Heyy Steve! Steve: Oh heyy Dave! Dave: The word of the day is legs! Steve: so? Dave: So lets go back to your place and spread the word? Steve: ....How about right now? ;) Both: HEY EVERYONE..WE'RE GUNNA HAVE SEX!

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Look at the statement immediately below. Look at the statement immediately above. Hahaha! You cannot read this text! Therefore, the following joke fails to qualify as a joke and is therefore an anti-joke by virtue of constitution: Yo mama!

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The Holocaust

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Why did Rebecca Black die? She killed herself due to the cruelty of many people

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Why did Dom stop smoking? Because he died

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What's worse than farting in front of your boyfriend? Farting on your boyfriends pillow and giving him pink eye.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Keep talking shit bitch, and I'll come for you!

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What did the doctor say to the other doctor? She is a goner.

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Well that sucks, your dad is dead.

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Q: Where do zombies shop? A: Zombercrombie.

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What do you call a mexican working at Taco Bell? An intelligent young man who recently graduated from high school, but due to his family's lack of money, he cannot pay for college, which is one of the reason's why he is working. He also needs money becuase he has a child on the way, due to his poor choice of not using protection while having intoxicated relations with his girlfriend. I wish him the best of luck!

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hi i'm a dick, i mean mitt romney

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A guy watches TMJBtv on YouTube. He then shoots himself.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because it lacked the requisite musculature to facilitate locomotion

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Penis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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