A Jew, Catholic, and a Mexican walk into a bar. The Jew leaves first for an unrelated reason.

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The eighties called They were pretty exited about inventing a telephone that can call the future

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A man who was not blind, but could not see, walks around a metal bar, and proceeds to the bar, where he walks into the door without opening it first

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What sinks quickly to the bottom of a river? Your dead parents.

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What did one socially awkward kid say to another socially awkward kid? Nothing

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Yo' Mama's so old that her age is over the average age of most people.

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what worse than a worm in your apple being kidnapped by hores and eaten alive by rabbits

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How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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Why was 7 afraid of 6, because 6 raped 5

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Bees inside of your eyeballs.

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why was 6 afraid of 7 He raped him the other day

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what is worse than losing your phone? having it destroyed because you were texting while driving causing an accident and you are not eligible for and upgrade for another two months.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic And so am I

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What can u see in the dark that u can't see in the light? Absolutely nothing

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How do you stop a black man from drowning? Take away his glass of water.

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Whats worse than finding a repeated joke on anti-joke? Nothing.

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what do you call a guy who makes racist jokes? an insensitive bastard

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A lot of things, because a dead baby isn't funny at all.

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How many ecotards does it take to change a light globe? Ve Vill Change all ze light globes to use;less grey vuns and you vill luv it or else ve vill kill you to save ze planet

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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Three men are all in a car park and they all want the same parking spot. As it turns out, it was a trolley bay

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What is blue and feels like a shirt? A blue shirt.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza is a tasteful meal and a Jew is a person of Israeli decent.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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