How tall is oprah.. 5'7

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Knock Knock Who's There? Jehovah's Witness

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Two men were walking down the street. All of a sudden, the first man turns to the second and pulls out his hands of 4 fingers each. The second man shows his hand of 6 fingers each. What does this show about them? Together they have 20 fingers total.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you call a black man carrying a T.V? Someone that is helping me move.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

[Jewish Joke] Some Guy: OOOOHH I GET IT Me: Anne Frank-ly, how did jew nazi this coming?

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the cop say to the black man being arrested? His Miranda rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Knock Knock. Who's there? Nobody, you got ding-dong-ditched

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the cat land on it's back.... because its dead .......

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the ground

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a paranoid schizophrenic And so am I

thumb_up thumb_down +18

If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man works at a brick factory. He is told by his boss that if he is to steal any brick from the factory, he will be sacked. But every day the man steals one brick and puts it in his lunch box to take home and is not caught. One day he has enough bricks to build a house, and he says "When I build this house there will be none left over". The house is now built and while the man is taking a look around he stubs his toe on something, he looks down to see a brick and he sighs, picks up the brick and throws it in the air. There are two pilots driving a plane, one has a dog and one has a wardrobe. One pilot says to the other "I don't particularly like dogs" then the other pilot says to him "I don't really like wardrobes". They then make an agreement and throw both the wardrobe and the dog out the window. Five minutes later one pilot looks out the window out onto the plane wing, and guess what he sees? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's the difference between a zit and a priest? These two things are so different that I couldn't list all of the differences in this text box.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A grasshopper walks into a bar... Bartender: "hey we have a drink named after you!" Grasshopper: "What, Kevin?"

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Whats black and has a large penis? A dog with abnormal sized genitalia.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what makes the world go round? An axis (just jokin, its COFFEE)

thumb_up thumb_down +18

a chicken walks into terry's house he penetrates himn

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Did you know, even though penguins ARE birds... They don't live in volcanoes?

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How do you know there's an elephant in your refrigerator? Look at your refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How do you get a n***r out of a tree? Cut the rope

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Your mom is so fat, she suffers from heart disease, high blood pressure, and type 2 diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Wat do u call black circus clwon a bad comedian

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops