Why did the police suspect a Hispanic man of theft? Because they found his fingerprints at the scene.

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What do you get when you cross sodium citrate, citric acid, benzyl alcohol, monoethanolamine, sodium benzoate, gylcol disterate, FD&C Yellow #5, ammonium lauryl sulfate, methylisothiazolinone, fragrances/perfumes, FD&C Blue #1, sodium chloride, zinc pyrithione, methylchloroisothiazolinone, ammonium xylenesulfonate, ammonium laureth sulfate, cetyl alcohol, cocamide, guar hydropropyltrimonium chloride, 1-Decene, homopolymer, hydrogenated, trimethylolpropane tricaprylate and water? Head & Shoulders Dandruff Shampoo for Fine-Oily Hair

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Theres an irishman , scottish man and a welsh man on a plane they where going to france

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Why did the puppy get shot? It lived in Detroit.

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what's purple and plastic purple plastic

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What's funny about the old man who got stabbed? Nothing... you're a sick person!

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what is big, white, and can't climb a tree? a fridge

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Q: what did the man say to the woman when he wanted her to leave? A: please leave

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An Asian walks into a bar, but the bartender asks him to leave the bartender replies "we're closing soon" but he secretly harbored racist views that he had not yet come to terms with and was deeply ashamed of.

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There's a black, afghan, and a rhabi. Which one is Obama?

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why did billy fall down? Because he is mentaly retarted and was just plain stupid.

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Why cant Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukaemia.

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the bird.

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i hate it when people repeat the same jokes. i just hate it when people repeat the same jokes.

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What did the Jewish kid get for Christmas? Nothing, Jews don't celebrate Christmas.

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How to make Ramen like a boss Step 1: get a promotion

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<=3 penis

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What did the child say after the priest touched him? Thank you for the ashes Father, have a blessed Lenten season.

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why did the little boy cross the road? because he had been raped.

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What did the ant do? I don't care you whore

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What happens when you give a Jew an iPhone? He says thank you and gives you a hug.

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Q: How is a cloud like orange juice? A: Neither have wheels.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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