How do you make a baby stop crawling? Nail it to the ground

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what do you get when you cross a giraffe and an octopus an abomination

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Why did the Asian woman crash her car? She couldn't see through the slits she called eyes.

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cancer isn't that good for you. so try not to get it

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69

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What's worse than dieing? Not much.

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Why did the blonde walk into the men's restroom? Because the blonde was a man who needed to expel his feculent waste.

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What's red, green, and goes about 200 mph A fire hidrent I lied about the green and the 200 mph

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Boy: "Mom, I don't want to walk in circles anymore." Mother: "Shut up or I'll nail your other foot to the ground."

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Why did the man stop going to his local doctor? Because they put highly poisen liquids in the shots

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Did you hear the one about the avalanche that crashed into the bar? It was such a tragedy.

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a blonde, brunette and a red head are all goin to jump off a bridge and turn into something. the brunette jumps and says fish, and she turns into a fish. the red head says eagle and bacomes an eagle. the blonde gets a running start, but then trips on the way off and she says shit and turns into shit.

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hey how do you turn the Xbox controller off thats easy turn the xbox off.

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what did one barstool say to the other what theres a butt on me

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Why do white people go to black people's yard sales? Because they know they sale good quality stuff -Travis

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What are you going to get your mom for mothers day? I have two gay dads.

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What do you call the branch of Science that separates the organism's race? RACISM

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Why did the chicken cross the road? How the hell should i know, i do not speak chicken.

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Two gays walk into a bar, they are then kicked out by the homophobic owner.

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Wanna see me count to ten? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.

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Where did the kid go when the bomb exploded? Everywhere

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How did the young child react when a bullet went through his head? He fell to the ground and his heart stopped beating.

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Want to hear a joke? ...you're straight.

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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