Roses are red Violets are blue I picked them in the meadow this morning

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What was the last thing going through the man's mind who cleans the 90th floor windows on the World Trade Center on 9/11? The 91st floor.

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Why couldn't the black kid buy a bike? He had no money.

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Jesus Christ dude. Wait, aren't you Jewish?

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Why was the squirrel late for work? Because the traffic was nuts!

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2 persons in an elevator then, one guy says: dude! smells like your sister! and the other guy is not there

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why are marcos hands all swetty. he just got done giving a hand job to joe.

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Lady wanna go out sometime? Im not lesbian girl! Im not a girl... OUCHIE!

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Directions- I would be lost without you. Thank you for always being there for me.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Why was the African American man afraid of dogs? He had a terrible childhood memory of being violently dry humped by a german shepherd.

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a pig ate a hobo, the hobo was a blind rapist from canada

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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glens walk to the kitchen : The Green Mile

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Find the M: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

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meh

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How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

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Whats the best thing about chuck norris? he's chuck norris.

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What's worse than hitting your funny bone on a chair............... Hearing one person say "its friday" then realizing that you are now singing

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Your sex life.

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what's worse than a kitten scratching your arm? A dead baby scratching your arm...

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Whats fuzzy and pink? A pink fuzz ball

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Knock Knock Who's There? No One No One Who? ...

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In Soviet Russia it's pretty cold.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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