Roses are red Violes are blue I am hot How bout you?

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Roses are red Bob is dead My name is Dave Your a microwave

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i quit soccer because science happened and then i forgot how to screw in a lightbulb

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Q: What's black and hangs from a tree? A: A tire swing.

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mary poppins' handbag is full of fuckin dick

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I don't really like holocaust jokes because my grandpa was in it. Yeah he was drunk and fell off his guard tower.

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What is the difference between a baleen whale and a black guy? One speaks and one says EEEEEEERRRROOOOOWWOWOWOWOOWRR!

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why did the fat woman die? ... because she tried to commit suicide and the ceiling collapsed on her.

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What did the man say after jumping into a well? He didn't say anything because he died instantly after jumping head first into a dry, 20 foot well. His family mourned for three days.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The IRS, please get out of the way.

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anti-joke.ru - russian style

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What's blue and invisible ? Nothing.... Its impossible to be iinvisible and a color

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whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whroe whore whore whore whroe

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Q: What should you do when life gives you lemons? A: Life would never really give you lemons...

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Why do so many black athletes drive black cadillac escalades? Because it's roomy and they deserve to reward themselves after they put in so much hard work trying to be the best player they can be.

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A man walks into a bar with a giant banana as a head and the bartender asks why he has a giant banana as a head and the man says get me a drink and i will explain, the bartender got the man a drink and he started to explain why, so i found this real nice golden lamp and i rubbed it next thing you know this genie pops out and he said i get three wishes the first one he wishes for unlimited wealth with a snap of the genies fingers the wish came true next he wished to be the most handsome man ever with a spin and a snap the wish came true but this is where it went wrong, I said to the genie and i cant believe he got me with this one (because genies always put a twist on things) i said: i wish for my head to be a banana

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What do you call a dog that has no legs? It doesn't matter because he will never come.

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what happens if you drop a spoon? it sounds a lot, and it's annoying

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Roses are red violets are blue. I'm falling in love with you.

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Who's Juan? DIS ONE

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A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

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A Texan, a Mexican, a Brit and a Frenchman are on a plane that begins having engine trouble. The black box was never found.

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender says had a bad day the man says yes... he orders 10 shots goes home and shoots his neighbors

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whats the strongest muscle the man who can't talk has. definatly not his mouth

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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