I like my babies how I like my chips. Chopped up and in a bag.

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Gay people: "Quit calling Justin Bieber gay, we don't want him either."

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What's green and hangs from trees? Leafs

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Why was it cold in Florida on Monday? Because there was an irregular cold front moving through. The Monday part was just a coincidence.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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Q: Why did the boy have blue balls? A: because the respectable girl with high self esteem refused to give him head.

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? The door was a loaf of bread.

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If you are what you eat, then imagine a prostitute.

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Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

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I don't drink. I'm not 21.

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why did the black man fall down the stairs? he was blind, do to loss of vision from cancer

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What did the vibrator say to the condom? Watch, I'll get laid before you do!!!

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Knock knock. Who's there. To get to the other side.

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Why was the teacher having sex with her pupils? Because it was 2145 and that kind of shit is common then

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Why couldn't the kid eat his vegetables? His parents stabbed him...

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Whats faster than a mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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in superbad, why couldnt seth take off mclovin's face and wear it as his own? no one can. theyre fictional characters in a movie

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What did the cop say to the speeding black man? "Can I see your license and registration?"

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What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a bike? I don't enjoy riding bikes.

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why can't Amy ride on the rollercoaster? Because she's under the height limit.

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What do you call a man with a spade on his head? Doug

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What do you call a guy with a rainbow tuxedo on? A classy man that is very well dressed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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