Jack be nimble. Jack be quick. But Jack still couldn't out run that bullet.

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how many jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front and 3 in the back depending on how many people decide to go

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Why is purple the best color. Cuz icecream has no bones

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Stop making fun of Stevie Wonder, you dont seen what he has.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a baby? I don't stab pizza 47 times in the chest with a chainsaw.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not your grandma! Cause she's dead! Come to the funeral

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How do you know if a woman is cheating on you? If you catch her cheating on you

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Who threw beer on livvy barnett? Cam irwin.

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A man walk's into a bar with a monkey, I fotgot the rest of the joke. Your mom is a whore.

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Why does the Pentagon have twice as many toilets built as is legally obliged? Racial segregation

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Three children had stumbled upon a magic slide. There was a sign on the slide stating that what ever they shouted, they would land in a pool of it at the bottom of the slide. So the first child began sliding and shouted out "JELLY" and sure enough he landed in a large pool of jelly when he reached the bottom of the slide. The next child, so excited to go down the slide began sliding down. She shouted out "LOLLIES" and sure enough she landed in a large pool of sweets and chocolates at the bottom of the slide. Finally, the youngest girl in the group mounted the slide. As she was going down she was enjoying the slide so much that she shouted "POOS POOS" forgetting the rule of the magic slide and finally landing in a large pool of excrement.

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roses are blue violets are red crap i screwed up dont judge me

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A man crawled up to a water fountain but fell because he had no legs

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Keith figured gasoline burns, doesn't it? He was wrong.

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Q:Why is rugby one of the safest sports to play? A: It isn't , it is in fact very dangerous.

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A man walks into a bar, orders a drink, drinks it, and leaves.

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Billy Idol walks into a New York City Bar. He snorts lines of coke with his comrades in the bathroom and continues his night by having sex with attractive underage females

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roses are red violets are blue show me your bed i wanna fuck you oh and roses are red violets are blue nice tits.

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Why was Mary's turkey dry on Thanksgiving dinner? Because she left it in the oven too long.

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What do you hear when the world trade center collapsed?, no seriously I wasn't even three yet.

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One day 2 people were gonna fight after school and the final bell wrung then they started the mtch and the challenger says, "Hey whats the one thing that you say when you don't want to fight and ypu let the other person win?" The other guy says, "I give up?" Then the challenger says, " I WIN!!!"

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How do you get a person to jump off a cliff? You push them.

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What do you call an alligator in a circus? Testicular Cancer.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? I don't know what they said, but one muffin, had a knife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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