"Hey ask me if i'm fat" "Are you fat" "Leave me alone"

Knock knock. Whos there Time to get a watch

Dear Six, Please stop spreading rumors about me and nine. I hear you two also do some pretty nasty things. Love, Seven.

A man walks into a bar with a frown on his face His dog just died

How do you starve a black man?.........take away his food!!

What did the toy cowboy say to the man? Nothing, toys can't talk.

What is the definition of child abuse? Ms Bazan

What did the cop say to his belly? "Hey in there!"

swag

Thank you Nero, this might not sound apropiate at all, but I am in love with you and have always been, and just want you to know that what I love the most about you is your spirit, your kindness, and sincerely, how you make me feel safe, I think its that you are dead honest to the point where you insult people asking for your opinion, I never had to question what you really mean or want, you just say it out loud, I love you, I realize it must be strange hearing that from someone you see as a daughter, I remember my father too well to consider you one, but I guess I always considered you a hot big brother of sorts. You are 32 huh? You always knew did you not? Why that secret of all things? Ill be arriving as soon as those trained killers of yours show by, and man are they fast and loyal, only you could inspire that love. I know your name is Nero, but I would not mind calling you Axel or at least knight, that's what you have always been for me.

How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

Why did little jimmy fall of his bike? His grandma threw the refrigarator at him.

What's better than winning a gold medal at the paralympics? Winning two gold medals.

An asian walks into class to take a math test. He did not study and consistently misbehaves and promptly fails.

A man fell in a hole. He's dead now...

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? X box Kinect

In Soviet Russia... ...there are many buildings and landmarks for the viewing.

OSS ARE RED VIOLENTS IS BLUE U BELONG THE ZOO I WILL BE THERE TO BUT LAUGHIN AT U

What's green and has wheels? Grass I lied about the wheels

The police shouldn't have cars. They should use skateboards and use flowers as their gun. When they catch a criminal in the act, they have to hug him before sending him to prison

What did the man say to the butterfly? To the butterfly? Nothing. He was probably talking to himself.

why did the chicken cross the road to get to your house knock knock whos there the chicken

Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Wait what was I saying

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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