A man walked into a bar.He woke up hours later and went home. By TheRealPaddock

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Q: What's the difference between a Boyscout and a Jew? A: Boyscouts come home from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken is now getting flowers for her dead children that got hit buy multiple cars, also the chicken is a human mother.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Are you antijoke.com. Because you are a faggot.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

why was the boy sad his whole family just died in a plane crash

thumb_up thumb_down -33

Man goes to doctor, says he's depressed. The world is bleak and hopeless and life just isn't worth living. The doctor thinks for a second then smiles. "Treatment is simple he says, the great clown Pagliacci is in town. Go see him, that should pick you up." The man bursts into tears, sobs hysterically like a child, "But doctor," he says. "I am Pagliacci."

thumb_up thumb_down -41

What is worse than torturing, "forcibly penetrate" and then slowly and painfully kill nine billion people? The Holocaust?

thumb_up thumb_down -43

A man died and went to heaven. Luckily, he was resuscitated by a trained medical professional, and after a stern warning from his doctor, he lost weight, limited the cholesterol in his diet, and went on to live a very happy and healthy life.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Three men were on a plane. One chucked an apple out the window. Unfortunately, due to the low pressure outside, all the men were sucked out the window.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

If you spell "ChuckNorris" in scrabble, you get 22 points.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

blargen fa-diddle nachen!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

My life has been getting worse and worse since I developed cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the hobo get for Christmas? Hypothermia

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Want to hear a joke? Too bad.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why didn't the lttle boy fasten his seatbelt? It doesn't matter, it's too late now.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Three midgets walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders whiskey, and the third one ordered water because all three of them had agreed that he would be the designated driver that night.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

who is gay wit mon james cornish

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's big fat and hairy? Peter

thumb_up thumb_down +16

If a tree falls on a deaf person, does anyone care?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why was the black man picking cotton from the backyard? Because he enjoys gardening as a hobby, and prefers to do it every Sunday, after work.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. ------ Knock Knock Whose there? Not Suzie

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Just checked my Tesco burgers in the fridge and they're still within the use by date.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops