How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

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You know what makes me sick? Bacteria

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What did one door say to the other door? - Nothing, doors can't talk

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Why was the boat red and sticky? A boy dropped his slurpee. What were you thinking?!

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What did the nazi say to the jew? Nothing, he shot 'em

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What's the difference between a baby and a tea bag? Tea bags don't scream when I dip them in boiling water

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What is big, round, hairy, black with a little bit of white and red stripes, large feet, small hands, squinty eyes and a purple beret? Nothing. How ridiculous.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Why do black guys have ashy elbows? Because of 9/11

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What do you get when you cross The Incredible Hulk and King Kong? Two angry fictional characters.

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Jack, John, Justin, Joseph and Jimmy walk into a bar. They order a pint of beer and start wondering what their names have in common.

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What did the girl say before she jumped a bridge? "Do you think I can jump off this bridge?"

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What is the fastest bird in air? NONE WHO NEEDS TO RIDE BIRDS WHEN YOU HAVE AIROPLANES!!!!

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what happens when chuck norris loses his hokey-bar? your mother

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If your mom is a teacher and your dad is a gynecologist, how many pancakes does it take to stack on top of a dog house roof? 12. Because footballs don't have feathers.

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A horse walks into a bar. He politely holds the door for a young woman.

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whats big fat round and bounces on the ground? a ball and your mum

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Q:What did the slut have in her mouth? A: teeth.

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What do you call a black midget in space? The first true example of how hard work, dedication and sacrifice can help you to achieve your goals.

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What did the deaf man say to the blind man? Probably "Look out for that car," but since he has been deaf since the age of 7, his verbal skills are tenuous at best.

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Whats sadder than 20 dead babies nailed to a tree? The Parents...

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Knock Knock Who's there? re-posession officers

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Why did the bus crash? The driver was a loaf of bread.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops