what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

What did the spoon say to the other spoon? Nothing, it is a spoon.

Dear Six, Please stop spreading rumors about me and nine. I hear you two also do some pretty nasty things. Love, Seven.

while in iraq i bought a brand new iphone from the black market...it was only $250....its was doing fantastic until i got a text...i herd a loud beeping noise and the it exploded in my pocket and now i no longer have a penis.

Roses are rose, violets are violet, that's just a fact, I've got aspergers.

What's windy and sunny at the same time? The weather.

What's black, white, and red all over?? A penguin that just got hit by a truck and is now struggling to live.

Why are black people so good at sports? Through Dedication and lots of training of course

What did the confused blonde girl ask to a nearby student? Nothing. She isn't supposed to chat because it's study hall and they enforce a strict "no talking" policy.

Whats 9 plus 10? 19

A frog walks up to Steve, and says "Hey, Steve." Steve is terrified because a frog knows his name, and is walking.

A:You wanna here a good anti joke B:Yeah/sure A:Me too

How do you make a nerd cry? Give him a 99% on a test.

My grandma has this joke where she says "knock knock." I say "who's there?" She says "I can't remember" and starts to cry

why did andy wake up this morning. because he wasnt tired anymore

Bird is the Word. Actually 'What" is the word.

What did the asian kid do before he got a blood test? He studied.

The teacher asked: If you have two apples, and I give you two, how many do you have now? FOUR said the student.

What's Worse Than Falling Over? .......Rape.

Q: What was the pirate movie rated? A: PG-13 actually because, despite the potentially graphic nature of the previews, the creators scaled down mature content so that it could reach a wider audience.

How many babies does it take to cover a roof? Depends on how thinly you slice them.

What color is Michael Jackson? Pale because he's dead.

Q. What's cold and has no feelings? A. A pole

What is the meaning of life? Bill Gates: Windows Donald Trum: Money Some poor kid:luck and rich parents.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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