justin bieber walks into a bar, he is then kicked out because he's under age.

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Why is the bowler right handed? He has no left hand.

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A man questions wether a cat will always land on it's feet. He takes a cat from a pet store and tosses it into the air. The cat lands on it's feet. Startled, the cat runs into the street and gets hit by a car. The man goes to prison for theft and animal abuse.

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Dane Cook makes a joke.

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Whats red and bad for your teeth??? A brick!!!

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Q: What has no color, no shape, no size, and was born in your mind? A: The thought you just had about this anti-joke.

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Why did the elephant die? It was murdered by poachers for it's valuable ivory tusks.

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Q: So I don't get it. Do women actually like not having penises and testicles? Do they genuinely enjoy it? A: Silly boy. Women ADORE not having penises and testicles. You just can't get your mind around someone having different preferences in anatomy than you.

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What did Stephen Hawking say to his daughter? Nothing, his illness prevents him from talking. And letting a high-tech wheelchair make human sounds isn't talking!!!

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What happened to the little girl who fell into the lake? She was rescued and made a complete recovery.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

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What happened to the lady? She queefed.

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Far from, yet all organizations are money based and put capitalism in front of all, so if lets say, one organization, needs help from another, a money transaction is made, I play a role there, as a well... Diplomat, its not my title, but my title is something I cannot reveal to anyone, not even my wife, id be putting myself and people in danger, but since I master things such as hypnosis, I can well, influence people, this is how I can pull of favors myself. Not favors such as "kill that guy for me", but more like... In your case. "If you are going to kill the wizard, please let the rest be, I know they are good people"

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how many flys in a box six --sticksack

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what do you do when life gives you lemons? take them, free shit is cool!

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Why can't Julius Caesar use a cell phone? Because he is dead.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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What makes George Michael gay? The fact he engages in sexual intercourse with other men.

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An elephant walks into a bar. Several people are trampled.

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this website is a bad joke

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Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

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whats brown and sticky? Doody

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Yo momma's so skinny she doesn't have any fat!

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Why did the African boy die? He was denied any antibiotics to heal his severe case of mono and AIDS, and was living on dirty water and dirt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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