Did you hear about the kidnapping in Pennsylvania? He woke up...

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"Roll back into the kitchen and imagine me a sandwich!" yelled the abusive husband to his paraplegic wife.

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AFTER PONDERING UPON YOUR SUGGESTION... I HAVE CONSIDERED, THOUGHT, SOUGHT TROUGH THE YELLOW PAGES OF WISDOM AND MIGHT, AND MY ANSWER TO THAT SUGGESTION IS... A DEFINITIVE, FIRM AND MANLY... Moral: MAAAAYBEEEEE?!?!?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.It got ran over by a bus.

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What happens when your dog is bad? A crying dog who has to sleep in the BACKYARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stupid dog....

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knock knock - whos there whos there -"im confused" try it on someone

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Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings? A: Those that wear them think that said earrings positively accentuate their physical appearance.

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Why did the dinosaur rent a DVD in Redbox about a sex? Because he didn't own a Blu-Ray player.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a killer

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Your mom is so fat, that i don't think she's attractive anymore.

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Why did the girl throw away her hairspray? Because she realized the harmful contaminants emitted from the nozzle were expediting the deterioration of the ozone layer thus contributing to global warming.

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What do you call a black man fishing. ... a fisherman racist.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he's not gonna come

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and act like it's original because I changed one word*

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Q. What did the barber say to the Italian kid? A. Do you want your hair cut or should I just change the oil.?

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How many infants does it take to paint a house? Forty-Seven.

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whats worse than having ice cream and not eating it? Being lactose intolerant

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You know its time to leave when she wake's up out of her coma and your balls are on her chin.

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What did the prosecuting attorney say to the defense attorney? I hate you.

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How is an elephant like a grape? They're both purple, except for the elephant.

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Believing in God may be a sign of autism Kappa

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hi

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What did the empty bar stool say to the one next to him? "You look like you have a lot on your shoulders!"

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a larger worm in your apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops