What did the lady say to the boy who's parents just died? Haha, your parents just died.

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Knock, knock! Who's there? No one. No one actually knocked on your door because this is just a joke.

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What did the hand say to the face? Nothing because body parts cannot speak.

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Why was the blackman fired from his job? Beacuse he was late too many times which was unacceptable.

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Why didn't the woman have a penis? Because she was female.

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Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Knock knock? Whos there? Knock knock. WHOS IS THERE?!?!? Knock Knock is, my name is Knock Knock.

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What's better than a stick? A stone

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WHAT DOES A NUMBER DO WHEN IT'S HORNE? MATHDERBATION

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Why did the Grizzly bear refrain from attacking the hiker? It didn't. The hiker was torn to shreds within minutes.

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what's a snake that has no legs a snake

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was died...

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Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Why did Suzie's friend put rubbish in her mouth? Because Suzie is a rubbish bin.

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There was 2 friends named Shutup and Trouble. They were camping and Trouble got lost in the woods. Shutup called the police. Shutup: Hello, is this 9-1-1 my friend is missing. Police: What is your name sir? Shutup: Shut up Police: What? Shutup: Shut up Police: What did you say? Shutup: I said Shut Up Police: Hey are you looking for TROUBLE? Shutup: Yes! Police: Guess what? We found him, he's safe in the station. We will have a officer come by a drop him off. Have a good day Mr. Shutup Shutup: Thank you

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A muslim gets on an airplane and takes his seat. The plane lands safely and he enjoys his vacation in Florida.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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What did the hooker say to the black guy? How long do you want it for?

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How do you circumcise a cat? Shoot an orphan in the leg with a rail gun.

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Why did the girl make a sandwich for her boyfriend? Because she offered to make lunch in order to save money by not going to a restaurant.

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How do u get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor

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What's the difference between epistemological pluralism.

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Did you see Helen Keller's doll house? No... Well it's really nice!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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