What did the cat say to the dog? Miaow. What did the dog say to the cat? Miaow.

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* Are you deaf? * Yes, as I love paradoxes.

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What happened to the girl who got an infection from an abortion? She died.

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What do you call a black man with big cuts on his arms? You call an ambulance to help him!

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What happened when the man fell off the boat? He went into the water and was viciously mauled by 5 alligators then ran over by another boat.

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The secret to McDonalds success is all their customers are to fat to leave

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whats worse than finding out there's mold in your bread? finding out the holocaust is in your bread

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what's small, red and sits in the corner? A naughty strawberry.

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Why did the mexican go back to mexico? He grew up there

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why Is the teen's sock crusty? he stepped in the glue that his little sister was using for her art project.

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Why couldn't the driver start his car? Because the driver was a tree

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i once bought a timeshare, guess what happened? i'm broke

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Why doesn't Billy like his new step-dad? He's secretly a murderer and only Billy knows, he wants to tell the police but hes afraid to.

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Now on breaking news!: Man found hanged upside down in a forest with 403 lethal knife-stabs in his back! Policeman: "We have concluded this is indeed the worst case of suicide ever"

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If your mom is a teacher and your dad is a gynecologist, how many pancakes does it take to stack on top of a dog house roof? 12. Because footballs don't have feathers.

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What do you call a man with no arms in the middle of the ocean? Mike.

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how do you wake up a really old man? you dont, he's probably already dead.

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How did the little boy fall over? He was tripped up by his alcoholic father.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Navy Seals. *BOOM* *waiting* "Yeah, he's dead." -Navy Seals

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Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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Fiona: SHREK! WHERE WERE YOU TONIGHT? Shrek: Out clubbing with the boys. Fiona: What did you do. Shrek: Eat Jews. Borat: iz vedy naaace

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Q: Were yyoouu talking smack about me? A: what? Q: did i studder? A:yeah you said yyoouu Q: well were ya A: no Q: oh ok.. A: k bye..

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A man decided it was time to quit his job so he put his 2 weeks in and went to look for another job.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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