Roses are red violets are blue. I'm falling in love with you.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Guide on how to make the color yellow for yourself! First, you grab green, and then you remove all the blue... AND YELLOW COLOR GET! While you are reading this I am fingering your sister... WHAAAAT? She is only a baby you say? Well... Moral: Ugh... The ending was so wrong in so many ways... I should totally rewrite this and call it EXTENDED DIRECTORS EDITION... I cant bother... Oren The laroM naM! OR !naM laroM ehT oreN So anyway, Christiaaaans, its ask and you shall receive right? Virgin Mary is not virgin anymore because I asked if you know what I mean... ;) NOW FIRE THE STORM OF RED THUMBS MWAHAHAHAHAHA I AM THE HORSEMEN OF THE APOCALPYSE! I AM THE RED DRAGON.... OR EVEN WORSE... I AM THE DARK LORD SANTA!!!!!! Nevermind, ugh... Santa is just too disgusting, sorry, I meant Satan, phew, thats a relief on my concience... I should probably take my finger out of your sister... ...And insert the GREAT BIGGUS DICKUS! Your sister only two years? Ugh... Well, SHE WILL GROW INTO IT... Ugh, I dont wanna post this, but I bet Ryu sometimes dont want to go HADOUUUUKEEEEEEN Just so a slow projectile takes of like 2 percent of his enemies life... SO... One TWO TH... Oh wait, I must solvemedia first. Ice to meet you? Thats pathetic.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Knock knock, Who's there? The constable. Your husband was killed in a car crash.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why was the boy cold? Because he couldn't afford clothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

why did the chicken cross the road it didnt it got eaten

thumb_up thumb_down -17

how many black people can you fit in a car? However many sets there are.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Whats green and gets you really high? A green airplane

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Jake pulled out a gun and held it to his head, planning to fool his friends because he knew the gun was empty. Then his friend thought he was helping out his suicidal friend by stabbing him.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Q: A vandal walked into a bar. What did the bartender say? A: Nothing, the vandal had covered him and the bar in pritt stick before he had the opportunity to speak, then left with his penguin accomplice, Reginald the third.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How many cows does it take to screw in a light bulb? Either one super cow or none because cows don't even have apposable thumbs

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti-Joke.com Post anonymously with no editing!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do you get a woman to stop nagging? Smack her in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you do when your girlfriend is bleeding? She is probably on her period.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what is the difference between gravel and dead baby guts? i dont eat gravel.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what happend when the magic man touched fire? He got burnt screamed in my ear and died.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do you scare a black man? You dont

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the ocean say the other ocean? Nothing, bodies of water are incapable of speech.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Jack: Hey, you know what sucks? Jill: Vacuums Jack: Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense? Jill: Black holes Jack: Hey, you know what just isn't cool? Jill: Lava?

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do a blonde and a good beer have in common? They both go down easy.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you call a green dog? A green dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Whats the difference between a jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a stove or firepit while jews are functioning members of society.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why is there a black president? Cause you voted for him. Thanks! Dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops