A kid walks into a bar and the bartender yells, "Get Out!"

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A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink, then walks out of the bar.

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Q: what's red and blue and covered in piss? A: everything. I'm so sorry.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Doctor Doctor Who? It is a science fiction show about a time traveller

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What's worse than aids? Being a virgin.

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Why did the boy get his head slammed in a car door? Because his mother did not love him, and thought it was an appropiate action.

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What do you call a man with a spade stuck in his head? An ambulance, he may be in need of urgent medical assistance

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm a fish out of water. Help me I'm suffocating.

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If atheism is a religion, then not collecting stamps is a hobby.

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You know its time to leave when she wake's up out of her coma and your balls are on her chin.

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Why did James drop his ice-cream? He was mourning the loss of his mother to terminal illness so he threw himself in front of a train.

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Mary had a little lamb, The nurse and midwife fainted. Because last year she met a ram, And they got too acquainted.

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How did Moses make his tea? He steeped the tea leaves for around 5 minutes in hot water.

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What does a weasel and a naked college girl have in common? No clothes

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yo mamas so young shes gonna b born soon

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Why didn't the new baseball cap fit little Tommy? Because Tommy was decapitated

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Why did Sarah fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.... Knock, Knock, Who's there?: Not Sarah

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What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

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what do you get when you you put a knife in a head? a dead body

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A: Where does a cow go on the weekends? B: To the mooooovies? A: No, to the slaughterhouse.

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Why did the fat man cross the road? Because he felt that being overweight, he had to do something about it and go to the gym.

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How many babys does it take to paint a wall red? 7 and 24 paint brushes cause babys need do overs

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What did the orphan get for christmas? Cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops