what time does the japanese guy go to the dentist? well his appointment was for 11:30, so he might show up approximately 5 minutes prior to the appointment time, just to make sure everything goes steadily as planned

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Why did the bartender leave the bar? He worked really long hours and finally needed some time to sleep.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No one knows because it never told anyone. Chickens can't talk.

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How do you make a little boy cry? You rape his dog

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Lambos are red Tuxedos are Blue The cat is out of the bag Shit, we're all gonna die in helll

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A man had two horses. One was black and one was white. He cut the tail of one of them to tell them apart.

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Why did the Mexican sneak across the US border? There aren't many good jobs for him in Mexico, and with the cost of living in his small village, he will be able to provide for his entire family of seven on just minimum wage in California. He will miss his family terribly while he is away from them, but he believes it is worth it in the end. Once he saves enough, he will pay the coyotes to smuggle the rest of his family over so they can be together again. Hopefully none of them will die on the journey.

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how many terminaly ill 5 year old cancer patients does it take to burn to supply enough energy to make toast just 4.5 :)

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Holy sh** a talking muffin!!!

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A man walks into a bar, he realizes his mistake and walks into the dentist next door where he had made an appointment to get his teeth cleaned.

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A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. He was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral.

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Why is the interesting goat so talented at chess? He's Bobby Fischer's dad.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, purple is a color, I like grilled cheese

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're adopted.

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? There are numerous things worse than finding a worm in your apple. Some include the holocaust and nuclear warfare

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Stab her.

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Why couldn't the child with down syndrome zip up their jacket.... it was a button jacket ... you asshole

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A blonde, a Jew, and a black man all went to the store. They each bought their groceries and went home to enjoy the rest of their day with their families.

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Roses are red, Violets are unicorns, This s h i t doesn't make sense, Refrigerator.

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name one thing that is impossible!! A sober irishman

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Why was the pencil case unzipped? Because it wasn't zipped up.

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What is white and fluffy? A cotton ball.

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this new cologne, it's kind of gross smelling.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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