What did the traffic light say to the car? Bye.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, take this medication, and call me if you have any symptoms of nausea or heartburn.

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What's black, blue, and read all over? The newspaper.

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Who smokes a lot of weed and speaks 5 different languages? Rosetta Stoner.

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give me a gun or i will shoot you i dont know what with but i will kill you so run run or i will come and get you

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Why did Helen Keller cross the road? Hoefuwpugosihfioapfsoihosw[

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Why was the man weird... Stevie Wonder

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Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Oh wait I shouldn't tell you, it's too long

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A duck walks into a bar and orders 2 beers and a shot. The bartender says "That'll be four fifty." The duck says he doesn't have any money and asks if the bartender can put it on his bill. The bartender says "No." He then picked the duck up by the neck and raped him mercilessly. "That's what he gets" one patron said. "Yeah, he was asking for it"

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There's this traveling merchant from Flint, MI. He goes door to door trying to sell shampoo. He is having a lot of trouble selling shampoo in Flint because they were hit hard during the recession and now ahve trouble affording even the most seemingly cheap products.

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question: why did the dog whine? answer: Because it wanted the freakin bone

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Why did the horse say moo? Because it's a cow

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What is green and red and flies 100 miles an hour? Super Frog.

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I'm rubber and you're glue, neither one of us say anything because inanimate objects can't talk.

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Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?? The WheelChair

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Your mmma is so stupid when we said the drinks were in the house. She went looking for them!

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hey guess what? what ur gay! how did you know ive been in the closet for 5 years!?

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A. Big feet, you know what that means B. He has to order his shoes on line because they don't carry his size in stores.

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“DTF”? Says Will. “No” says Harper.

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How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

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what did batman say to robin before they got in the car? "robin get in the car"

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How many dead babies would it take to plug the Fukushima Dai-Ichi nuclear power plant? None -- they are using thousands of litres of liquid glass coagulant instead.

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What did the frog say when it was attacked? Ribbit.

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Have you heard about the hipster paleontologist? He liked dinosaurs better when they were underground.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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