Q:Why is rugby one of the safest sports to play? A: It isn't , it is in fact very dangerous.

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what's the difference between an abortion clinic and my basement? there are more dead fetuses in my basement

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What is a 3 legged dog? It's still a dog! Sheesh

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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Q: Why was the chicken waterboarded? A: Because the guy liked being cruel to animals.

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When life gives you lemons squeeze them at people then run away.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding herpes in your apple.

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Why did little jimmy fall of the playground? He was blind and wasn't aware of his surroundings

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Who's the slut of the alphabet? C.

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what do you call the breaching of the anal cavity with a penis? butt sex

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I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one . Though , I do have cancer .

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A man walks into a bar and then, after a relatively short period of time, walks out of the bar.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? I don't know what they said, but one muffin, had a knife.

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A guy wanted to write a joke. He didn't.

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? The bench can support a family of 4?

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What's worse than falling out of a tree and landing on a dog? Rape.

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How many Soviet Russians does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, in Soviet Russia, light bulbs are an unavailable commodity because the tyrannical government has called for a ban on unnatural illumination. A fact which is not lost on Mikhail, the light bulb maker whose wife died because his lack of business caused him to miss payments on his hospital bills.

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So a guy walks up to a gay guy and says: "You are a fag." The gay guy says: "That is very offensive, you jerk." So the guy says: "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know what it meant" and the gay guy says: "I accept your apology." Then the gay guy crosses the street and gets hit by a bus

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Why did the gay man sneek out of the brothel? Because he was ashamed of his well paying reception job

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daffodils are yellow, Flowers come in lots of colours...

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what has hair? Organisms, or at least most do.

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why did the person cross the road? to catch the chicken

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What's the difference between a baby and a tea bag? Tea bags don't scream when I dip them in boiling water

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops