Three bitches walk into a bar, and die

a naked man walks into a bar the police arrived 10 minutes

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

Why did Bob drop his ice cream? Because he got hit with a super models TIttys

Randomly Dialed Homeowner: Hello? Prankster: Hello is your regrigerator running? Randomly Dialed Homeowner: Yes... Prankster: Oh good. I was just calling to make sure. Have a good day!

And now a word from our sponsors

What's worse than getting a apple and finding a worm in it. Getting hit in the face with a meteorite.

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Why are women bad drivers? -There are no roads in between the bedroom and the kitchen.

Knock knock. Who's there? The Postman Will you sign hear please he said Oh my toaster came

How do you find dennis ferguson? Look at danyons bckground

How dis the chicken cross the road? On it's chicken wings.

How do you make your children nice? You dont have any.

Why is Timmy afraid of x-rays? The last time Timmy had an x-ray, the radiation was too much for him, giving him terminal cancer, which also explains why he will die in the next 24 hours.

What's the difference between Chuck Norris and Bigfoot? Nothing. Their both really hairy.

*Dubstep* CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW CHEW BWAB BWAB

How Dow you make a baby stop crying?? Hit it with a brick By smash45

Jennifer Kim... having a boyfriend!

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry, Show me your tits.

How many blondes does it take to replace a light bulb? Well, it depends if the person is blond or not. Also the person's age, as kids may not understand this proses at all.

69 :) 3====D:). [{}]:)

If I were in a room with you, Hitler, Stalin, and Palin, and I had a gun with 3 bullets in it, I would drop that gun and run as fast as I could from that room. Sorry, I hate you!

How big does your mouth have to be to eat a baby? How would i know, i'm not a canible.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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