what's worse than stubbing your toe? 9/11

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what falls from the sky, is white, and can kill you a refrigerator

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Snake: YES muahaha Eve eat the fruit from the three of wisdom muahahaha! Why do you not share with Adam? Muahahaha! Snake: Why is nothing happening? Then the sky opened and a heavenly voice spoke: "Well as long as none eats fruit from the three of KNOWLEDGE... Hmm, I better get rid of it altogether..." Snake: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

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whats worse than getting caught by a teacher for chewing gum? getting kidnapped by a giant hawk.

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Mexicans don't use lightbulbs because they can't afford them.

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What did the dog do in the phone booth? Nothing, as dog do not have opposable thumbs and cannot grip objects. The previous user must have left the door open and the dog walked in, only to leave a few moments later.

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Three drunk llamas wearing sombreros are walking down the street. They walk in silence, lost in their own thoughts.

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Why do black guys have big dicks? God felt bad putting pubes on their head

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why did the man fall down? because he was shot.

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Do you know what one golf ball said to the other? Nothing they are lifeless objects

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"Knock Knock" "Who's There" "It's Dallas" "Dallas Who" James and Dallas's relashonship quickly deteriorated as Dallas realized he and James been best friends for 2 years and James doesn't even know his name.

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What did one muffin in an oven say to another muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects thus incapable of sppech.

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what did the 14 year old boy get for christmas? nothing because he his sitting in prison for killin his parents and is serving a life sentence.

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What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

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What do you call a kid without any friends? A Sandy Hook survivor

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hi im bob i ate a Pickle sucked a boob and died of a haert atak

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What did the rapist say to the child? Contrary to popular belief, I am just a kind old man that likes to hand out sweets to disadvantaged young children. I only got dubbed a rapist when a child crawled into the back of my van as I drove off; the fact that his abusive father was the one who raped him is not my fault.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because if he stayed on the farm, he would have been condemned to a miserable life, subjected to deplorable living conditions and an eventual pain-filled death by the hand of a cruel and heartless farmer. Crossing that road was his only chance of salvation.

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What do you say to the man break dancing?? You don't, call an ambulance he is having an epileptic fit.

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What happends when two gay guys want to have kids? They can't, so they go to an orphanage and adopt one.

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Excuse me sir, do you know where I can find the restroom? I don't know, I'm sorry.

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Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? They're really good at it

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A Pogo Stick

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Why did the child say he had been a ubused. Answer: because he had been.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops