Roses are red Violets are blue I've got to say I hate you!

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Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

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Where is Jew University? Berlin, Germany

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Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

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how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

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whats got two legs and cant walk a paraplegic

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why did stuart buy an ipad from the mall. because he wanted an ipad

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What's better than a stick? A stone

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how to you mess with helen keller? Re-arrange her furniture

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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Q. What's the difference between a clock and an elephant? A. A clock doesn't have limbs, muscles or a respiratory system.

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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What do you call a black man in church? Religious

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Person 1. Knock-knock. Person 2. Who's there? Person 1. The doctor. Person 2. The doct-- Person 1. You have cancer and have about three weeks to live.

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how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

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What did the prisoner get for Christmas? A lethal injection.

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why was 9 afraid of 6 ? because it made her pregnant

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Knock knock. Who's there? The bailiffs, we have come to take your house

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

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Q: Why did princess Diana crops the road? A: Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt

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What do you get when you cross a lion and a tiger? A Ligor.

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I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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Jimmy's mom: Jimmy go do your chores now!! Jimmy: You shut your mouth, whore. Get your smelly ass back in the kitchen!!!

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If my wife has got 6 oranges in one hand and 6 apples in the other hand, what has she got? No chance of stopping an uppercut.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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