There was a blonde, brunette and red head driving in a car. The car breaks down so the three of them decide to walk. So the red head takes water bottles, the brunette takes food and the blonde took the car. The red head asked the brunette why she was taking the food, the brunette said "incase i get hungry i can eat" then the brunette asked the red head why she brought water the red head said "incase i get thirsty i can have a drink. Then the brunette asked the blonde why she brought the car the blonde said "to drive home".

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How come Tommy isn't allowed to sing anymore? Because he has a punctured artery, collapsed lung, fractured ribcage, and a failed organ...

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

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Why did John not like his chocolate? It wasn't chocolate it was poop.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Guns don't kill people, books kill trees.

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what happened to the chicken who crossed the road he didn't realize that the light was green

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Two scuba divers are playing cards on the bottom of the ocean. One asks "have you got amy threes?" Then they both die from maintained exposure to the incredible pressure at the bottom of the sea. One left behind three children.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Police. Your family is dead...

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I used to be into necrophilia, bestiality, and sado-masochism; but then I realized I was just beating a dead horse.

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if you have 2 apples and 3 oranges in one hand, and 4 oranges and 1 apple in the other, what do you have? very large hands.

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Q. What's yellow and sour? A. Not a banana

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hey girl, My Gyarados is BIG enough for you to ride it ALL day and night

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What did the librarian say to the rude man who was talking very loudly? The librarian said "shhh keep it down."

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Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip? to ge to the same side

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What would you call Shaquille O'Neal if he was on the moon? Shaquille O'Neal, or any nickname you may have for him.

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whats the differnece between a bag of dead babies and a ferarri? nothing ill never have either

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What happened when the man asked the girl if he could borrow her pencil? Nothing, she was deaf

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? ruh-ruh-blah-blah-bluh

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They all gone.

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What did the jew say to hitler? SURPRISE!! IM YOUR NEW DADDY

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What was a hard time for people? the great depression

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Jack and Jill went up the hill....Just kidding, it was only Jill. Jack had no legs

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Whose your daddy? Not me

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops