Why did Valter fall of the swing? Because he didn't have any arms Knock knock Whos there? Not valter

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Roses are red Violets are blue Im really bad at poetry Your mums a whore

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How many Women's Rights activists does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They can't change anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: What's worse than a pile of dead babies in a truck? A: A pile of dead babies in a truck with one alive in the middle eating his way out.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

See you later... Just joke I'm blind

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What was in the magical purple teapot? Two dying pelicans.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you get a man that has evreything? Aids

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road? He did it for fitness.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the boy have to ride the bus? Because both his parents died.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did jimmy say when his brother had been mean to him all day and he was about to get a straw and his brother took the last one? That was the last straw!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

I wear my sunglasses at night. I'm always getting into car accidents.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's brown and smells like paint? -Poop. I don't know why it smells like paint though..

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What is the difference between a Camel And a Strawberry? A strawberry is red.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

My house is on fire I'll probably die posting this joke

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Once, there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What starts with F and ends with U-C-K? Firetruck

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why were my arms so tired after I flew in from the coast? Because the stewardess, god rest her soul, failed to latch the door securely.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Yo mama's so fat, she died of a mixture of obesity and type 1 diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

how do you keep an idiot in suspense. I dont' know he still hasn't told me

thumb_up thumb_down +7

two kids see a girl naked in the woods They walk away promptly to their homes and tell their mothers.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Little Johnny walked into class one day. The teacher announced their would be a pop-quiz on the declaration of independence. Johnny passed. (ic3)

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops