In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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Why was the little African child sad? He had recently been denied an education only 4 days after witnessing his mother being raped and cut in half by a machete. ....he also had aids. ......and was in Africa.

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I beheld M.Bison/Raul Julia, as I fell down from the sky LIKE LIGHTNING! Your friendly r*pist Moral Man: You don`t like me? MAAN That gets me on... As for Horny, I was born with two of them... The third is a burning stake. ...So you like me... Meh! No fun when they don`t struggle nor squeal, even if they do scream in pain...

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What's the difference between white and black? White is Caucasian and black is African-American.

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what did the orange say to the other orange? we are both oranges.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I just got AIDS, And soon so will you!

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Why did the Koala Bear fall out of the tree? Because shortly before, it's life had ended due to lethal chlamydia, which is not uncommon for a Koala Bear these days. Due to it's loss of thought and therefore muscle control, it lost it's grip on the branch it was holding and naturally gravity took over.

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Why was the old lady sad? Her husband was raped by an angry gallon of milk.

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What do you call a gay jewish guy? Heblew.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was forced by the man with a gun.

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News of the day - David gives back 2 pounds to someone. The police, as he stole from a old nana to pay for a toothbrush

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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What looks red and smells like barf? Depends on how you look at the situation.

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How do you get a one-armed kid down from a tree? Wave.

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Did you know that if you write "Beatles" on a piece of paper, chop it up, put it in some cabbage soup, eat the soup, poop it out in a cup, and put the paper back together, it spells "Ringo <3 Arby's"?

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Want to hear a dirty joke? Jimmy fell in mud. Want to hear a clean joke? Jimmy took a bath with Bubbles. Want to hear a dirty joke? Bubbles was a clown.

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What do you get when you cross a cat with a fish? A dead fish.

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What did Mel Gibson say to the African-American? I'm sorry

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Two guys walk into a bar. But the third one was a duck.

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whatis worse then tripping over and landing head first in dog shit No alot

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So, would you like provolone or mozzarella with that? Yes.

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What do you call a black person living in the US? An African American.

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Want to hear a joke? Obama

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops