What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

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There is a Asian a black guy and a white guy the black guy loves apples the white guy loves pears and the Asian loves Macaroni the white guy gets a apple the black guy gets a pear and the Asian has no lunch so the black guy kills the white guy for the apple and the Asian kills the black guy because he is hungry

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Roses are grey. Violets are a different shade of grey. Let's go chase cars. -Dog

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A Sodium atom walks into a bar. A Chlorine atom bumps into it, taking the electron, then making a bond. Suddenly, the police come in. They arrest the Chlorine atom, of course, but they also arrest the Sodium atom. He says, "what did I do?" The policemen say, "you're too ugly to be out in public."

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What does a dishwasher and the holocaust have in common? Not much.

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Your mama was so fat that when she did the splits she gave the floor a hickey

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A man is at the doctor's waiting to be examined. The doctor walks into the room and takes one look at the man. The Doctor says, "You will need to stop masturbating." The man looks at him and says, "What, why?" The doctor says, "so that I can examine you"

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Roses are red Violes are blue I am hot How bout you?

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Why did the virgin masturbate until his hand was raw? He didn't have lotion.

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What do you call a dog that has no legs? It doesn't matter because he will never come.

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A man walked into a bar. He needed 5 stitches.

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A man walks into a bar at 4:00 PM NO it was actually 4:01 because my clock is messed up and My dad likes cheese plus pie

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Q:What's similar between a squirel and a eagle? A:Both have wings, exept for the squirrel.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I have a dead body, What do I do.

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Hey! How do you do a four strand plait? With four strands.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where is my tractor?

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Knock knock! Who's there? A Doorbell salesman.

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Why do showers have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers

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What more fun than a barrel full of monkeys? A barrel of dead babies

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A guy walks into a bar. The second guy ducks.

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Why wasn't the cab driver sent to prison after bombing the school? It was a suicide bombing.

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Why did the black man bleed to death? He was stabbed, but he bled to death because his doctor had just prescribed him some blood-thinners for his serious headaches.

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Q: What do you get when you mix root beer with a cloud? A: Nothing, you idiot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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