When life throws you lemons, Throw grenades.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

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Knock knock. Who's there? Not your grandma! Cause she's dead! Come to the funeral

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Does Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? No, it's a scam.

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An asian man walks into a bar and lights a cigarette. He is politely asked to leave due to smoking being prohibited indoors.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i thought violets were violet. hmph.

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Stalin and Hitler went to Kmart to buy mini-toothpaste. Because they schleifen schlafanned on their way to the country club.

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Mother: "George what happenend to your pet rock?" George:"I dont know." Mother:"Here! I found your pet rock. It was in the same place it was before!"

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What kind of movies do pirates like? They don't know, Somalia doesn't have much of a film industry.

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Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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What happened When The lion asked the dog of a soda can? The giraffe who is taller the lion or the whos the fastest?

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poetry Show me your titties

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Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? Because it could see and hear.

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What happened when Johnny fell off of his bike? He suffered a very tragic and fatal brain hemorrhage resulting in a lower population by a minute percentile that is undetectable by the US Census.

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What did your mom get for christmas ? A stairstepper.

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Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella? For rain.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why is my phone bill so low this month? Because you have no friends.

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Why did Dracula cross the road? To get to the other unbitten virgin.

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What does a Twihard, a Brony, a Belieber and a Gleek all have in common? They all ruin the Internet.

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Three drunk llamas wearing sombreros are walking down the street. They walk in silence, lost in their own thoughts.

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chuck norris won the world series of poker using his superior knowledge of counting cards and calculating probability.

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Q: Why was the child sad? A: because a doctor was taking bullet fragments out of his chest.

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Fat? Jesse Z

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops