What Did Gretel say to Hansel? Stop having sex with Ariana Grande!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: Were yyoouu talking smack about me? A: what? Q: did i studder? A:yeah you said yyoouu Q: well were ya A: no Q: oh ok.. A: k bye..

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A Sodium atom walks into a bar. A Chlorine atom bumps into it, taking the electron, then making a bond. Suddenly, the police come in. They arrest the Chlorine atom, of course, but they also arrest the Sodium atom. He says, "what did I do?" The policemen say, "you're too ugly to be out in public."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are rose, violets are violet, that's just a fact, I've got aspergers.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

An Australian man walking in Manhattan is approached by another man who pulls out a switchblade and says, "give me your wallet or I'll stab you with this knife!" The Australian man hands over his wallet. A nearby police officer witnesses this the last moment of the mugging, arrests the criminal and returns the Australian's belongings.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the slaughter house.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: Why God never got a PhD? A: 1. He had only one major publication. 2. It was written in Aramaic, not in English. 3. It has no references. 4. It wasn't even published in a refereed journal. 5. There are serious doubts he wrote it himself. 6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since then? 7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited. 8. The Scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results. 9. He unlawfully performed not only Animal, but *Human* testing. 10. When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it by drowning his subjects. 11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from the sample. 12. He rarely came to class, just told his students to read the book. 13. Some say he had his son to teach the class. 14. He expelled his first two students for learning. 15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students failed his tests. 16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A gay man goes out with a butch lesbian and develops a loving relationship, years later they get married and have kids, adopting them from the local orphanage and lives happily ever after.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Hickory dickory dock, The mouse ran up the clock, Barbara called the exterminator, Who killed all 10 of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I don't really like holocaust jokes because my grandpa was in it. Yeah he was drunk and fell off his guard tower.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How many Jews can you fit in a car? - Probably about 5 or 6, depending on the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A Texan, a Mexican, a Brit and a Frenchman are on a plane that begins having engine trouble. The black box was never found.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's blue and invisible ? Nothing.... Its impossible to be iinvisible and a color

thumb_up thumb_down -13

HAHAHAHAHAHA.....shut up your joke isn't better.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What happened to Kanye West when he interrupted a KKK ritual meeting? He was promptly hung from a tree for being a negro.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Who's Juan? DIS ONE

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Three fish swim into a bar. The first one says "blub blub blub". The second one says "blub blub blub". The third one says "I'm not a fish I'm a human". What does the bartender say? Answer = Ayy Llmao _George_Bush_

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Knock Knock Who's there? You You Who? Yes? Can I help you madam?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why couldn't the Jew get pregnant? Because he was man.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

your know what grinds my gears? when I throw my car into park while going 90 on the highway.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are red, Violets are red, I have a dead body, What do I do.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the coat say to the dog? Nothing, the coat was inanimate

thumb_up thumb_down -17

A women was driving along in her brand new, swanky, red ferrari when she spotted a red light in the distance. She stopped steadily, following the rules of the road. All of a sudden a loud bang came from behind her where a young driver had hit her at 50 mph. They both come to an abrupt stop and exited their vehicles. The women says "Idiot, you just hit me!" The boys says "oh don't worry, I have insurance."

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops