The people who posted those extremely long "jokes" down there have no life.

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What happens when your dog is bad? A crying dog who has to sleep in the BACKYARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stupid dog....

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What would Marylin Monroe be doing right now if she was alive? Clawing her way out of her coffin.

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What's worse than stapling a baby to a tree? Stapling the same baby to ten trees.

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Stephen Hawking is so paranoid, always looking over his shoulder.

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What song does the lady camel sing to seduce male camels - my humps my humps my humps my humps How did sergay the camel respond? -we dont know. He died a fatal death involving hippos in hula skirts, and flying guavas

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What do you call a black guy driving a bus? A bus driver

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What do you call a black man on the moon?? Never going to happen

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Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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Who is fat, stupid and pretty dam ugly? (hint: look in mirror)

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What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

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In soviet Russia...things are different

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What is the way to a man's heart? Through his stomach. With a knife. Then then go up a little.

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what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

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don't do anything i wouldn't do first

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What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill.

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What's the difference between jumping off of a 2 story building and a 20 story building? You're more likely to die from the latter.

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Why doesnt Squidward wear pants? Because he likes to hang loose

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Q: what's worse then stubing yout toe? A: getting raped by godzilla

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What did God say to Adam and Eve? Be fruitful

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What did the little girl say to her mother? Nothing, the previous day the little girl was kidnapped and rapped by two 40 year old men and was eventually decapitated...she will never speak to her mother again.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No neither has he.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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