A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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why is it good to be a fireman? because they save lives

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How old am I? If you guessed correctly, you are psychic. If you guessed incorrectly, I will send flying gnomes to capture and torture you. Unless, of course, you are of a racial minority in which case nothing will happen to you because I am not racist. :P

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It got hit by a school bus and died.

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What did the old man get for Christmas? He forgot because he has alzheimer's

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Want to here a joke? Me to...

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Three men on a journey stop at a farm and ask the farmer if they might be allowed to stay the night. The farmer consents upon one condition: that the visitors not lay a hand on his daughter. The men respected the farmers wishes and left in the morning.

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nathan your cats dead now...well hopefully

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A: Where does a cow go on the weekends? B: To the mooooovies? A: No, to the slaughterhouse.

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Three men are walking, the first one walks into a bar. He has a couple of drinks because he is depressed. He drives home, drunk, and dies in a car accident. His wife finds out and hangs herself.

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Cliterus

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because skeletons cannot live on their own and there is no such thing as a skeleton that can walk across roads without muscles.

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How did Bella fly? Very badly.

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No smoking No eating No drinking On this bus Didn't say anything about sniffing

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Roses are red Violets are blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

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Q: What's blue and fuzzy? A: Blue fuzz

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Two Jews walk into a pub. They don't order a ham sandwich.

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What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

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http://adf.ly/C8MqG

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What did one door say to the other door? - Nothing, doors can't talk

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You know what makes me sick? Bacteria

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"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops