What did Stephen Hawking say to his daughter? Nothing, his illness prevents him from talking. And letting a high-tech wheelchair make human sounds isn't talking!!!

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What happened to the little girl who fell into the lake? She was rescued and made a complete recovery.

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Q: So I don't get it. Do women actually like not having penises and testicles? Do they genuinely enjoy it? A: Silly boy. Women ADORE not having penises and testicles. You just can't get your mind around someone having different preferences in anatomy than you.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bigger worm in your apple.

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Why did the elephant die? It was murdered by poachers for it's valuable ivory tusks.

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Q: What has no color, no shape, no size, and was born in your mind? A: The thought you just had about this anti-joke.

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roses are red, violets are blue, im a bad poet, text me. LMFAO

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Guy 1: (to guy 2) Close your eyes, stand on one leg, spin around, and yell "I have never eaten a cucumber!". Guy 2: No. Guy 1: Ok.

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What do you call Jack Black on a bad day? Kevin Hart.

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Q: what did the man with no eyes get for Chrismas? A: Reading glasses

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justin bieber walks into a bar, he is then kicked out because he's under age.

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An elephant walks into a bar. Several people are trampled.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a smoke dectecter, You died in a fire

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What makes George Michael gay? The fact he engages in sexual intercourse with other men.

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why Is the teen's sock crusty? he stepped in the glue that his little sister was using for her art project.

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this website is a bad joke

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Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

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Far from, yet all organizations are money based and put capitalism in front of all, so if lets say, one organization, needs help from another, a money transaction is made, I play a role there, as a well... Diplomat, its not my title, but my title is something I cannot reveal to anyone, not even my wife, id be putting myself and people in danger, but since I master things such as hypnosis, I can well, influence people, this is how I can pull of favors myself. Not favors such as "kill that guy for me", but more like... In your case. "If you are going to kill the wizard, please let the rest be, I know they are good people"

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what do you do when life gives you lemons? take them, free shit is cool!

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how many flys in a box six --sticksack

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

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What happened to the lady? She queefed.

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Why can't Julius Caesar use a cell phone? Because he is dead.

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Why was the woman angry with Santa Claus? Because he kicked her hands.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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