Why do aliens listen to relaxing music while they have sex? They like to cum in peace. \m/

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Weaner

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Why was the man foolish for buying a new lamp? Because he lived in a small shack with no electricity and was probably going to die soon.

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Fiona: SHREK! WHERE WERE YOU TONIGHT? Shrek: Out clubbing with the boys. Fiona: What did you do. Shrek: Eat Jews. Borat: iz vedy naaace

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What do you get if you cross a fairy cake with some boiled parsnips? Fladgemuffin

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Whats the definition of not winning? Charlie sheen losing custody of his son because he is a coked out, old man douche bag, who only gets told what he wants to hear because he forks out lots of money to gold digging hookers.

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Why did blonde drown? As a child a child she never learned to swim since she did not enjoy swimming.

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So I was flirting with a girl at a bar the other day when this huge black guy walks up and says "Hey honey". I realized that I still had some un-addressed prejudices in me as he shook my hand, pointed out that it was a mistake anyone could make, and introduced me to a girl he had met at the college he works at.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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Why did the police arrest the black man? He'd committed a crime, and was punished accordingly.

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So a dog walks into a bar.. well thats not true as most bars do not allow dogs.. oh..sorry.

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NASA sent a probe to Uranus and wondered why people were laughing.

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was chasing the chicken

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Why couldn't the girl go to the bathroom? Because she was obese.

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Well Here Goes Nothing And nothing happened

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Knock! Knock! Who's there? Russel. Russell who? Russell Johnson. Oh, come in.

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whats worse then a truck full of babies? if it went off a cliff into a canyon full of knives.

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Did you know? that if you were to stretch out all your organs to see how far theyd stretch? youd die.

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Did you hear about that anthony weiner guy. He is very depressed, and your mother has cancer.

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Why couldn't the cat drink it's milk? Because it didn't have a face.

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender says had a bad day the man says yes... he orders 10 shots goes home and shoots his neighbors

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A frog walks up to Steve, and says "Hey, Steve." Steve is terrified because a frog knows his name, and is walking.

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What do a watermelon and a bunny have in common? they are both green except the bunny

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops