Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

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Why did the man drive a van? So he could keep the stuff he stole.

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A dancer walks into a barre

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

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Where did the RICH black man go to? His home

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. There is a frog in his beer.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Why the long face?' The horse says 'My alcoholism is destroying my family.'

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Why is the sky blue? You like men.

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Why did the guy fail his driving test? He was blind.

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Q:How many dead babies fit in a bathtub? A:It depends on the bathtub, but if all of them were the same size, babies also differ in size and sometimes shape. If all bathtubs and babies are the same, the number would be 1, because every baby will be as big as the bathtub.

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Wat did the man say to the other man when they were alone. We dont know. They were alone.

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69.

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Your moms so fat she struggles to to everyday tasks

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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What did the prisoner get for Christmas? A lethal injection.

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Why can't Molly ride her bike? Because she has no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Molly.

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What do you call a Gay leprechaun? A homosexual ginger man with a pretty green outfit.

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They say that there's more than one way to skin a cat...so far iv only found the one.

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What did the jewish man say to the Irish guy at the bar? Are you Irish?

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Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? A: Reading re-posts of classic anti jokes posted by lonely teenagers.

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why dont black people celebrate thanksgiving? kfc is closed on holidays

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My Texting Convos: "Heyy!" "Hi!" "Watz up?" "nm hbu?" "Same here!" "Koolio!(: So wrud?" "Nothing. Just texting you!" "Yea! Same! I'm so bored! And tired!" "Ikr!" "Yupp!" *No one answers. When this is what you really want: "I love you soooo much!" "Awwwwh!<3 I loe you too!" "Do you wanna go out?(;" "YES!!(:" "ily<3" "iyl2<3" *convo goes on forever(: Moral: Purple tomatoes are books of yellow buttons on hands(;

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What did the little boy say to his cat? Masturbate on my moms corpse.

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Why is it so hard to find slim fitting clothes in America? Because not many clothing stores carry them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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