What do you call a person with one eye and no arms? Names.

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

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Q: What happens when Lisa drops an iPad? A: She plays Desperado on the sax.

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What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cøck in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

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Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

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Why did the black man steal an inhaler? Because he was broke and he had asthma.

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What did the black man say when he jumped in the pool? The water's nice, you should join me.

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So seriously you have never ever played videogames before?

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NO I AM NEROCHAN LEFT!

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whats the difference between an orange and a dead baby? one is a tasty treat and the other is an orange

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i should have been sad when my flashlight died.... but i was delighted.

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What do you call a cow that's not cooked? A cow

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qu'est ce qui est petit et poilu? un asticot poilu

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A man entered ten puns into a pun contest, hoping that one of them would win. Unfortunately, he came in third place and was discouraged by his loss.

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What is small, cries a lot, and moves at high speeds? A baby stapled to a car.

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Knock Knock Who's There Mailman Mailman who? Sir, I don't have time for this, take your mail.

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What was Jenna's favourite ice cream flavour? Keyword; was, she's dead now

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What's sad about a girl getting hit in the face with a shovel? The shovel got dented..

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What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man i a gorilla suit with a banana.

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Drunk, a tweeker and a pot head are walking together when they come upon a huge wall with a large, locked gate in the middle of it. The drunk shouts "lesh shmash it down!" then passes out. The tweeker says "Dude, we should totally take the lock apart and see if there's some kind of mechanism in there holding it together that we can use to build some sort of machine for taking... oh man I gotta crap so bad! Either of you guys gota smoke?" and the pot head says "We should sit here and wait." I didn't say it was a good story

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i thought violets were violet. hmph.

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A man walks into a bar, orders a drink, drinks it, and leaves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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