What's the difference between a panda and a baby? I don't have a baby in my freezer

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Q:Whats yellow and white and sits at the bottom of a pool? A: A baby with slashed floaties Q:Whats red and gory and sits at the top of a pool? A: Floaties with a slahed baby

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Why did two girls need one cup? they didnt feel like washing an extra dish to drink their coca cola

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So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

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What's sad about a girl getting hit in the face with a shovel? The shovel got dented..

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Why did Sarah fall of the swing... She had no arms. Knock knock, who's there... Not Sarah. Face Face, who's there... Probably Sarah.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Poop. Poop who? HAHAHAHAHAHA you said poopoo

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What did the homeless man buy with a dollar? Nothing. He didn't have a dollar.

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it

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A man went to his doctor and said, "Doctor, every time I hit my hand with a hammer, it hurts!" Then both him and his doctor died; so it didn't matter.

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A horse and a penguin and a kangaroo come into a bar and order drinks from the bartender, who later gets fired for taking acid while working.

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How do you find the richest person in Mexico? You get the census of income per citizen and see who is at the top.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was jewish and saw a nickel on the other side

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Why didn't the new baseball cap fit little Tommy? Because Tommy was decapitated

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Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Yes, are you on a horse? No. Oh...

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-How do you kill a douche? -You stab him untill he cries out in mercy and stops moving.

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What do you say to a confused blond? You help her with her conundrum.

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Why the african children was sad? - Because an octopus bite his arm

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Why did the pumpkin when orange is not a letter in Spanish? Because moon shoes are der milf

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Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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I love this website, oh shit *Car* Dead*

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What is a six letter word for cactus? Cactus

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2 mentally, unstable , woman visit the cinema , and watched "The Sweeney,"they really enjoyed it

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What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops