What do you call a dog with no arms and no legs? Nothing, it cant come

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Who's Juan? DIS ONE

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

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Why doesn't a ducks quack echo? Actually, it does, but the echo is imperceptible to human ears.

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Your mama was so fat that when she did the splits she gave the floor a hickey

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the street? A: Because that was the direction it was headed.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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What did the little boy do when he got his test grade? Cried, it was 0

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Q. What's cold and has no feelings? A. A pole

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's Tyler Oh hey, come in

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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Q: why does the man like men? A: because he is gay

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I remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. I bet I can kick this bucket. He missed and had a heart attack.

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Why did the blonde cross the road? To get to the Public University where she worked as a Ph.D associate professor of linguistics.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are yellow Grass is green

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Fred: says hi Bob: says shut up why the hell do you have to be so rude!!! Fred:thankyou ob thats better

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Two men enter a room. Two men and a baby leave the room...

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1 111111 1 1 11111111111 1 1 111111 1

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What did the white man say to the black man at midnight? It's really dark out.

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What do you call a bunch of black people buried up to their hair? Afro turf

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Why didn't Jimmy do well at school? Because he was recently in a car accident, which severely damaged his brain, making it difficult for him to learn things, because of his severely damaged brain, which he got in a car accident, which he was recently involved in.

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Why did the horse die? I shot it in the face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops