Emily Scarpello...Fat Couch

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Women, "Did just pinch my ass!?" Man, "Yes." Women, "Oh, alright then."

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What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? Don't be ridiculous. First of all, scientifically this is near impossible and secondly, what use would a kangaroo with wool be? Sheepdogs would become obsolete and they would be a nightmare to shear. Imbecile.

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Roses are red Bacon is red Poems are hard Bacon

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How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None...they can cook in the dark.

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Your uncle jack just helped you off a horse. Now it's your turn to help your uncle jack off a horse.

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What did the 12 year old boy get for Christmas? Herpes

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was gonna write a really funny "anti-joke" about two dogs and some spagetti but decided instead to tell you about how hard my life is and how much i hate getting up in the morning and just keep you wondering about the spaggetti and the dogs while i kill myself and it all a sudden makes sense as the two dogs are eating my shattered brain that looks like spaggetti wich leaves me wondering , am i spelling spaggetti right?

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A young boy walked in on his mom and dad in their room lastnight They were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

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How many elbows does a Jew have? 2

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Feminine hygiene jokes aren't funny. Period

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Does your iPod have zoom on it? Yeah, but it doesn't have a camera

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because chad makes babies cry.

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What did one muffin say to the other Muffin? Nothing, muffins have no method of communication in any way shape or form

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What's facial hair? Hair that slowly progresses to grow out of certain areas on your face.

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A Palestinian woman asks a man for directions. She is promptly stoned to death.

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What did one apple say to the other? Nothing, it is scientifically proven that apples can't talk.

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What noise did Helen Keller make when she fell out of the window? None. She wasn't aware that she was falling and died immediately upon impact. @rowakaflocka

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.It got ran over by a bus.

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you got Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift, and Reese Witherspoon. Which do you think is more succesful

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Bill: Wanna know the difference between knowledge and wisdom? Joe: Sure Bill: Knowledge is knowing that an apple is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.

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what did your mum say when she ran into chuck norris? hello chuck norris

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Why did the Mexican mow lawns? He needed money to pay for his college tuition.

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Q. How does Michael Jackson pick his nose? A. From a catalogue.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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