There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A bear wakes up from hibernation and is hungry. He sees a nearby forest cabin and decides to see if he can find food inside. The bear breaks into the cabin and thus the people staying there frantically run away to call animal control.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's green and runs through the forest? - A pack of cucumbers. What's wrong with that? - Cucumbers aren't pack animals.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q. What's yellow and sour? A. Not a banana

thumb_up thumb_down -11

an old lady walked into a bar, used the bathroom and left. THE END

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: What is strange about Arabs? A: Very little.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

knock knock who's there? nobody. then why are you knocking?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Grease is the word that you heard it's got groove it's got meaning

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A dog walks into a bar Because the door was open -Tag

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How many black people does it take to tar a roof? Just one. Unless he wants to do it in a shorter amount of time and calls a few friends to help him.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's worse than killing 6,000,000 Jews? Killing 6,000,001.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

catlin: hi Thomas: shut up bich 12 assssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss2sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss2ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss2ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss2ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss2ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssl;

thumb_up thumb_down -13

someone called someone else a frog

thumb_up thumb_down -13

I have a dirty joke. Yesterday I fell in the mud.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

WARNING: this is a black joke Why does everybody hate darth vader? he is all black

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Whats invisible and smells lile carrots? Rabbit fart

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Cheetahs run at an alarmingly fast rate for short periods of time. Until I shoot them with harpoons.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What is brown and green and goes 100 mph? A tree falling down on your house.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's the hardest part about blending a baby? My dick

thumb_up thumb_down -13

A seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Where did the kid go when the bomb exploded? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you scare off a ghost? Tell him your ready for a commitment.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops