Miss Jones has 10 apples on her desk. Billy takes half of them away and runs. What does Miss Jones have? 5 apples and a complaint filed for smacking Billy with a ruler.

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How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

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If a large bear falls out of a tree, why would a giraffe also eat the cheese?

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What do Justin Bieber and corn have in common? They are both fruits. Except for the corn.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No neither has he.

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Why was the teacher sad? Because her boyfriend broke up with her.

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You know what's funny? Rape

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Q:Whats the difference between Glenn Close and a black widow? A:one is a person, the other is a species of spider.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Miaow. What did the dog say to the cat? Miaow.

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- How do you save a black man from drowning? - I don't know - Good!

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Yes you better be sorry, I'm gonna suck my mums p e n i s tonight! - Dylan Hodge

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Why was Joe lying on the ground? Because he got shot.

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What do you get if you put a baby in a blender? An Erection

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An asian man walks into a bar and lights a cigarette. He is politely asked to leave due to smoking being prohibited indoors.

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Yo momma's so skinny she doesn't have any fat!

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"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

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How do you starve a Mexican? You stick him in a secure room and deprive him of food resources

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If polar bears were pink they'd be very easy to find

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Did you know Helen Keller had a doll house? She didn't either.

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OMG I JUST FOUND THE GREATEST WEBSITE YOU SHOULD TOTALLY CHECK IT OUT OMG ITS http://anti-joke.com/submit

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Why was the wife laying on the ground crying? Because she wasn't in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband

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A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are taking a chemistry exam. They each get a solid B on the test.

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A deer looks at the ground and sees something strange. He wonders what it could be. A rabbit comes along and thinks the same. A badger promptly arrives after the rabbit and thinks the exact same. 4 seconds later they all get hit by a train.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being ripped apart by an angry orangatang because orangatangs have the strength of ten men.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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