How do you teach a blond how to cook? You give her a cookbook, a kitchen, and maybe turn Paula Dean's show on.

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Why does the fat kid no longer have friends? He died after falling out of a tree.

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The closest I've been to an animal charity was when I walked past it to by myself a fur coat

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Walk to the corner store to buy one.

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Billy and Joseph are playing Rock paper scissors. Billy says paper. Joseph proceeds to throw a rock as hard as he can at Billys face and sends him to the emergency room where he was later diagnosed with terminal testicular cancer.

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What did the zen master say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything,

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What's black, white, and red all over? Road Kill Penguins.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Postman Will you sign hear please he said Oh my toaster came

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a naked man walks into a bar the police arrived 10 minutes

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How many Dean Mckee's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He doesn't know what a lightbulb's for, nevermind how to use one.

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Hey babe, do you like water, because I have water.

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an emo girl walked into a white room

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How dis the chicken cross the road? On it's chicken wings.

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What's the difference between Chuck Norris and Bigfoot? Nothing. Their both really hairy.

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What do you call a black man in green shoes and a yellow hat ? Nothing,thats just him pursuing in his own regular casual outfit there for you would just notice him as a normal man walking around with shoes and a hat on so there is nothing to call him

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God Nero, Marry me now! I removed the nose thingie but it wont stop.

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Why was the Mexican running? He was being chased by border patrol!

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What is white and hard to catch? A refrigerator

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How do you find dennis ferguson? Look at danyons bckground

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What did the worm a fisherman used to catch fish called when the worm killed a trout? Master Bate.

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How did little jimmy survive the plane crash? He ate all the survivors, then when the helicopter arrived he ate them too and took the helicopter.

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A man on his 21st birthday walks into a bar. He orders a piña colada. The bartender then replies "Sorry we do not sell piña coladas here." In disappointment, the man decides to order a different alcoholic drink and later becomes an alchoic for 20 years until he breaks his obsession and remarries his wife and has 5 kids. He then had a great life and died at age 92. He will be missed by his wife and children.

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A Gamer walks into the tavern, the bartender says to him, "just dont act like you control the place!"

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How Dow you make a baby stop crying?? Hit it with a brick By smash45

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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