Person 1: Happy Halloween! Person 2: Hey, I'm Jewish

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What is the difference between john madsen and a gay person. There isn't because john is gay

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What do you call a boy with no arms and no legs that gets stepped on a lot? Mat.

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A blonde walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What're you drinking?" The blonde says, "Nothing yet. That's why I'm in a bar. But your lack of basic observation skills is disturbing."

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What's worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm. Being raped. What's worse than being raped. Being raped twice. What's worse than being raped twice. Biting into your apple and finding a worm then throwing away that apple, retrieving another apple them biting into it and finding another worm then being raped twice. In the same 5 minutes.

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There are 3 people in a car, shit, manners, and asshole. They are driving and shit falls out. They pull over and manners gets out to help shit. Then a cop comes and pulls them over. The cop ask asshole what his name is. He said asshole. The cop said what. Then asshole said asshole. Then the cop says where are your manners. Asshole said over their picking up shit.

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Ask me if I'm a car. Are you a car¿ Yes¡

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Two muffins are in an oven. They say absolutely nothing because they're muffins and not sentient.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. I cut off his leg.

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what did nena say in the library while her and her friends were on anti-jokes? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.... Knock, Knock, Who's there?: Not Sarah

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Why did he chicken cross the road? The suicide rate in chickens has gone up 50% in the past year alone.

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whats brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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Knock Knock -Who's there? No one -Ok

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Two elves walk into a bar. The hobbit laughs and walks under it.

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Q: Why didn't Dwight D. Eisenhower play with the silly putty? A: Because he's dead.

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What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

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Why did the german killed the jew? Because he was nazi.

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L.A Clippers 2000-2012 season!!!!

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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Q: What do you get when you have water, sodium C14-16 olefin sulfonate, glycerin, disodium lauroamphodiacetate, polysorbate 20, cocamidopropyl, betaine, PEG-6 Phenoxyethanol, PPG-15 Stearyl, Ether, Citric Acid, isocateth-20, Fragrance, Methylparaben, Tetrasodium EDTA, Xanthan Gum, Propylparben, Ethylparagen, and Camelia Sinensis Leaf Extract? A: All New Clean & Clear Oil Free Make-up Dissolving Foaming Cleanser.

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So a Jew is walking on the street and he sees a penny, and he decides to pick it up because ever since the fire that killed his family and burned his house down he has been living on the street and he needs all the help he can get.

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What do you get when you cross a Lion and a Shark? You would likely get trouble, seeing as its both animals are quite dangerous and crossing even one of them is ill advised.

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What happened to the little girl who fell into the lake? She was rescued and made a complete recovery.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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