So I have an idea that will solve both world population and hunger problems! I call it the Omni-Abortion law. The idea is that all babies must be aborted and then eaten. Progressive, right?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He tripped over the little step at the entrance. But don't worry, he's not hurt, it just startled him for a second there. They should put a caution sign out front, somebody might get a serious injury. You can never be too safe, after all.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

You go to the Anti Joke website, what do you find under the "newest" section? Black jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the old lady talk to a tree? She had Alzheimer's and was going to die.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the T-Rex say to the chicken? Nothing. First of all because the Tyrannousaurus Rex has been extinct for over 65 million years and secondly because Tyrannousaurus Rex's and chickens are both animals of lower intelligence so they cannot talk to one another.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What would a gay man do with a jelly doughnut? Thoroughly enjoy its fruity taste.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

what do you call a man that has a terminal illness and is named James - James

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the pirate say to the ninja? I have aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's worse then the bomb that went off in boston? The second one right after.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you do when you see a plumbers crack. Tell him he has another crack to fill

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what did batman say to robin before they got in the car? "robin get in the car"

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why didn't the scientist discover a cure for apathy? He simply lost interest in it.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

We decided to post a joke on anti-joke and see if we can get any rapings

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why doesn't Julius Caesar answer his cell phone? Because he's DEAD.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the slutty blonde get her boyfriend for Valentine's Day? Nothing because she had died of AIDS months ago.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

guess what? bannanas

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why can't Hellen Keller have kids? Because she's dead, therefore does not possess the ability to bear children.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

how do you confuse a blonde do nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the black man say when he jumped in the pool? The water's nice, you should join me.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

whats worse than having ants in your pants? getting sotomized by a lightsaber

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops