What do you get when you cross a Lion and a Shark? You would likely get trouble, seeing as its both animals are quite dangerous and crossing even one of them is ill advised.

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what do you call a white man in a black neighborhood a minority

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“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

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What happened to the little girl who fell into the lake? She was rescued and made a complete recovery.

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What about the cool kids down the block. Their friend just died with a serious health condition.

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why was the little boy screaming. he realized he was an asian

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What's 1+5 2+4 3+3 4+2 5+1 Whats 6+1 If you said 6 you're stupid.

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Why did the fat man cross the road? Because he felt that being overweight, he had to do something about it and go to the gym.

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Q: 1 out of every 44 presidents can dunk, who is it? A: How the hell am i suppost to know

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Why did the elephant get on the roof? To jump in the pool.

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How do you save stop your soulmate from dying of cancer? Shoot them on the head.

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What is Sally's favorite flavor ice cream? She can't eat ice cream, she's lacktose and tollerant.

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what happened to the kid who opened the goldfish? he got eaten by a cixelsyd dinosaur

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Q: a man in a camry runs over his wife. who's fault is it? A: toyota and their breaks.

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what's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? when you slap a mosquito it stops sucking:)

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Q: How do you make a fireman cry?? A: Drown his wife

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? He wanted to live a better life in pursuit of freedom and a better job.

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Why didn't the pregnant, pro-choice woman have an abortion? It was a planned pregnancy.

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What did the black guy do in the hood? walked down the street, bought the paper and watched Letterman.

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How many rats does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. But they have to be really small.

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Why was the cancer ward sad? They just lost a patient who couldn't ward off cancer.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My grandmother has degenerative brain disease, We may need to euthanise her.

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So a girl says "I want to be a banana when I grow up". She's set unrealistic goals and her parents fear she may be autistic.

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dad said he had to drop the kids off at the pool what does that mean mom? honey it means dad has to take a shit beacuase shit looks like retarded black kids with down sydrome

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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