what did one computer say to the other .........

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Modern math questions: If I have 9 apples and you have 12 ice cubes, his many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? poke her face.

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What did the cute little girl get for Christmas? Raped

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Why should you never attempt to rob Chuck Norris? Because he will beat you up as he knows self defense.

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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Why did the woman go out of the kitchen? She did not because she had a curse put on by a man off the streets of Greek row a Yale that said u may never leave the closest kitchen near this very spot, and it turns out that the closest kitchen was in a frat house across the street so now she is stuck in the kitchen making sandwiches for all the frat bros at this Yale frat house, So basically she was in her place

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Where did tommy go during the bomb? Everywhere. he was a cripple and couldnt make it to the bomb shelter.

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Your dad must be a drug dealer because I saw him in your kitchen snorting cocaine

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What do you call thousands of people running through london? The marathon

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How do you put a giraffe in a refrigerator? You open the door, put the giraffe in and close the door. How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?. . . . . . No! You open the door, TAKE THE GIRAFFE OUT, and put the elephant in. So, the lion calls a meating in the animal kingdom and who's not there? The elephant, he's in the refrigerator. You have to cross a river infested with crocodiles, and you don't have a boat. How do you get across?. . . . . . No! You get in the river and swim across because the crocodiles are at the meating with the lion!

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Four gay men go to a bar and enjoy a drink celebrating their long lived platonic relationship.

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Why couldn't the Jew get pregnant? Because he was man.

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Do you still got what it needs to become a better leader than me Nero?

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Q: How do you drown a black guy? A: Hold his head underwater and sit on his back.

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a rabbi and a priest walk into a wall

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What's brown, sticky, green, yellow, and orange that rides a unicycle? I have no clue, that's why I asked.

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Q: What was the last thing to enter the bug's mind as it flew into the windshield? A: His back legs.

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So a Mexican a Jew and a Philippino walk across the street What Happened? the border patrol shot them

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Santa and a smart blonde jump of a cliff. Who gets to the ground first? Neither, they don't exist.

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why did the black guy talk to the monkey? they were in the same cage.

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Why do showers have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers

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Why did the baby crawl onto the road? because a sick bastard put a bottle of milk there knowing that a bus would be going through that route soon.

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Hi, my name is Mark and I have dead babies in my garage... Just kidding. My name ia not Mark.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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