A priest, a rabbi, and an imam walk into a bar. It's also a bistro, and they have a lovely lunch together.

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A rooster lays an egg on top of a henhouse. Which way does the egg fall? Roosters don't lay eggs.

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A white guy and a black guy are sitting in a bar. The white guy apologizes to the black guy for the hundreds of years of slavery endured by his people.

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you can either take the test now or on monday. (hand movement)

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A lawyer walks into a bar, and due to the repercussions of severe head trauma was never able to do so again.

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what's worse than a dead baby in the bathtub? if the baby was named Grace.

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Arnold Schwarzenegger at Terminator: Gaynysis (or whatever I wont bother checking that out) YA NEED TO REMUV THE QUANTANAMO TRANSLACATOR TO RELOCALIZAYSEE THE INTERDEEMENENTIONAL MAYTREX! Yes, Pops but what about the time travel Paradox? YOU NEEED TO REMOV THE CRISTAL PALARDOXAL WARCALIBREITOR IN ORDA TO DESINSTONYSE THE DEEMENTIAL CORDALOXEY! Me: *Leaving the cinema* Moral: If you thought the trailer was like "meh", then you will soon realize it was the best part off the movie... The only part that is meh, and while I can honestly say I dont understand shit about how timelines work in Terminator (The creators dont do it either) Having Arnold Fucking Swartsnigger go with the Geek lingo DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! To explain things to me, NOTHIIIIING!

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What are you going to get your mom for mothers day? I have two gay dads.

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September 11 was the 9/11 of all terrorist attacks.

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Why does the fat kid no longer have friends? He died after falling out of a tree.

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How do you drown a black? - pop their lips

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What's white and sticky.... Jizz

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what did the chickpea say to the raison when he got called big but? Atleast i dont have a stick up my but.

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What did one new born baby say to the other new born baby.? Babies don't have teeth therefore they are unable to talk.

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What was the only reason a ginger ever won in a fight? It was against a Dementor.

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how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? open the door and put him in.

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Relax, anyway I hope its just the not not hypnotic suggestion, it would be really disappointing to to know that you are high on weed, even if it is very relaxing, not that I would know, I tried valium once, it kinda increased that sensation you have tenfold. Anyway, what I meant to say was, would you kindly tell me what size your breasts are? Do you shave down there?

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The closest I've been to an animal charity was when I walked past it to by myself a fur coat

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What did the deaf blonde say to the brunette? Nothing.

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An over weight naked black guy walks into a bank and says "give me all your money!"

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yo momma is so stupid, she probably in in the bottom 1% of her age group

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, floating in the ocean? A victim of the increasingly violent Mexican drug cartels.

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How does Moses like his tea? Hebrews it.

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Tifa my ass, if that is your name buddy, then I am Nicholas Cage, or why do you not just call me Cloud Strife? Seriously, if you are a guy just say it and get lost, I will still honor my agreement and show up and see what I can do for your little order though, you pay the trip and the stay of course.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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