How many licks does it take to get to the center of a lollipop? 782

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a guy walkied into a bar... he really got hurt

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What does a handsome guy and an ugly girl have in common? Nothing

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your mother is so heavily obese, she became one of the 60 million individuals in America who are obese today.

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Someone asked me "What rhymes with Orange?" I replied "Door hinge." He punched me.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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Why did the mailman die? Because everybody dies.

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What do you call a black man that steals a VCR? My Grandpa, he was a Vietnam vet

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What did the black kid say to the white kid My parents are slaves

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wh did a man all of his bike? It was a wet and slippery day, he had a lack of control and concentration

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How do you stop a baby from crawling circles? You nail it's other hand to the floor too

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What's the difference between a Gay Man and a Straight Woman? Anatomy.

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What happened when the blackman saw the white man. they both said hello

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey has a very weak cerrebellum.

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haha black people :D

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree, because it was dead. why did the second monkey fall out of the tree, becuase it was dead. why did the third monkey fall out of the tree, because he thought it was a game!

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why did the woman walk into the kitchen? i don't know, but the better question is why she left in the first place.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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What do a watermelon and a bunny have in common? they are both green except the bunny

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What do you call a black man with no arms? Trustworthy.

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Redcunt? You got to try being nicer if you want a proper answer

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I need a sidecart on my motorcycle just for my diick

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Jehovah's Witness. Have you heard the word of God?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops