What did one duck say to the other duck? Quack.

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You tell me. I have amnesia.

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What's worse than finding out your husbands gay...........finding out he's gay with your brother"

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What do you call a man who's being followed by 18 black guys? Dave, he's going to work and is stuck in traffic

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Your mom is so fat, she weighs 732 kilograms.

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Whats the difference between a jew and firewood? Firewood is meant to be burned in a stove or firepit while jews are functioning members of society.

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An old white lady falls on the ground in the middle of the night. Just then, two positively huge black men in hoodies walk up to her and she is frightened. But as it turned out, they just wanted to help her get on her feet, and called a taxi for her. When she had no money, they gladly paid her fare. This is because they're good people and not muggers

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knock knock who's there a tiger Alex proceeds to walk away as there is a tiger at his front door. he then calls the police because of the potential danger. the animal control then apprehends the animal and takes it to an enclosure

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whats the same between a mouse and an elephant? They are both small except for the elephant

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periods are red waffles are blue your mum's a milf I sucked her boob

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whats worse than getting killed by a random tomahawk in COD mostly anything because COD is only a video game

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Roses are purple violets are green I am color blind shut up

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What did the Rabbi get for Christmas? Nothing because as you know Rabbi's are members of the Jewish community and therefore don't celebrate Christmas.

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The stone said to tree I wanna be car the tree replied you cant be a car. Forever a stone

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A man decided it was time to quit his job so he put his 2 weeks in and went to look for another job.

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How did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

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whatis worse then tripping over and landing head first in dog shit No alot

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Why does Chuck Norris own a can named Chuck Norris? because he is self-centered due to all the attention payed to him for virtually no reason at all.

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How do you stop a baby from crawling circles? You nail it's other hand to the floor too

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How to you kill a pizza guy? Shoot him in the face.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple That one time I rapped and killed your mom, oh and happy birthday prick

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Q. Why was the little boy sad? A. He had a frog stapled to his face.

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so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops