A duck walks into a convenience store and asks for a tube of chapstick.He says "Put it on my tab".

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Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? No, we can't.

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Q: what do you call a mushy green circle that tastes good? A: An avocado

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What did Aladin say to Mulan? Nothing. Although they are both Disney characters, they never appear in the same film, and therefore never communicate.

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Your parents shouldn't have met. I was thinking that as I contemplated suicide.

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Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? Because it could see and hear.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Irune. Irune who? Irune my life with all this red sand.

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What do you call a horse with two legs? A kangaroo

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Why couldn't the blonde count to 70? because 69 was a mouth full:)

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Women outside of the kitchen.

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What did the Republican say after he got off the ferris wheel but before he went on the roller coaster? "Boy, that ferris wheel sure was fun! Now I will ride the roller coaster!"

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Blind jokes are not funny! I just don't see the humor in them

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why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to why did the bubble gum cross the road? it was on the chickens foot

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2 men were in a bar, One was talking to the other, "I was walking down the street someone fell." "ha" "isis it true?" "What" "isis" and a bomb went off and they all died

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A blonde takes a test. She scores higher than her Asian friend.

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Go away still nothing to see

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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whats then difference between a jew and a pizza ? A pizza doesnt scream when its put in the oven .

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I love this website, oh shit *Car* Dead*

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A young boy walked in on his mom and dad in their room lastnight They were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella? For rain.

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Why did Dracula cross the road? To get to the other unbitten virgin.

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How do you make a baby stop crying for the rest of its life? Shoot it in the face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops