hey i just met you and this is c r a z y , but im a pirate so call me matey ;)

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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How many wheelchair users does it take to change a light bulb? - They are not physically capable

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-Why was six afraid of seven? -Because seven's a rapist

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Two pen state administrators walk into a butt

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A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar and the bartender says: "Where would you like to sit, gentlemen"?

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How do you get a blonde's attention? Throw deodorant at her until she looks.

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What would you do if your penis disintegrated? Never mate again.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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have safe sex

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there once was a man named china who got stuck in yo mamas vagina he escaped through her butthole minus her butt mole and then died a horrible and painful death

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How do you make a little boy cry? Cut off his legs.

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some Chap-stick, and put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because, as all people know, ducks cannot speak. However, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting a prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need Chap-stick anyway, since he has no lips.

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How do u get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor

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How do you find your way out of the impossible maze? You don't.

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Because the tractor hadn't seen the chicken.

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Q.what semtemce is a most used lie by a fourteen year old? A. Yes i agree to the terms of service, and am above the age eighteen.

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Why was the man upset? Both sides of his pillow were warm.

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What do retards eat for lunch? Grilled Cheese

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Why did Fred fall off the bike? He was a shoe.

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Fight fire with with fire! That would be impossible, it'd just make the fire bigger. And probably kill you.

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Rose's are red, violet's are blue. Rose's die and viloets are more purple.

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what do you get with a bulldog and a shi-tzhu 2 dogs.

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Roses are white, Violets are white, holy shit i can see the light.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops