A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a woman outside of the kitchen? Out of place.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Knock-Knock Whos there? You You who? Yoohoo! is anybody home?!! Well obviously or i wouldn't have talked to you. Idiots these days!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A: I accidentally shot my sister with a rifle! B: you don't have a sister? A: exactly

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Knock knock who's threre me, I kill you

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Knock Knock! Who's there? Dog Dog wh- wait how did you knock? *mindblown*

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What Would George Washington say if he were alive to day. why are all the slaves free?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: Why does the black guy eat watermelon A: Because it's a delicious nutritious snack

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What happens if you drop an yellow shirt into the Red Sea? It gets wet.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why didn't the door open? Because it was locked

thumb_up thumb_down -21

some kid told me pink dolphin clothiing was nigged, so i took an eraser , gave it to his sister and beat the poop out of hiis car ON A THURSDAY!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -21

it was a black guy a white guy a chinese guy a french guy an arab guy an irish guy and a juncky that was too much for a joke

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Why didn't the women make her husband a sandwitch? Because she was struck by a car as a young child and was told she could never walk again. Her family couldn't afford a wheelchair so therefore she is bedridden all day.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Your mother is so fat, we needs two fat jokes to adequatly make fun of her.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

roses are red violets are blue get out of my face before i kill you

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How do you call the uncle who molested you as a child? More than likely with a telephone.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Everyone text/call Mrs. Butt Hemingworth for a free pint of her delicious marmalade! Serious inquirers only. 832 704 1331

thumb_up thumb_down -21

How many apples do you end up with if your dog is a golden retriever who got raped by a giant scorpion? A jail

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Which is heavier, a tonne of feathers or a tonne of lead? It doesn't matter when your loved ones are being torn apart by bears.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Q What did Stevens mum say when he asked to be an astronaut A no your heads too big

thumb_up thumb_down -21

how did the kenyan get away from the cop He didnt he got arrested

thumb_up thumb_down -21

Things that have changed since I was a kid. Turtles: My time, awesome. Today: Shredder is a human which is not a human but actually a Krang, but his daughter which is not his daughter because he is a freaking krang, has a sex thing for Leonardo which is a turtle (the blue one, whatever his name is). Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: My time? Well it was awesome back then, fine I admit it, I might have been a bit biased but still, I enjoyed the hell out of it, there where five rangers and yeah that Asian bitch that gave me a boner as a kid made a green one which she giftwrapped to the rest of the team, then some white ranger showed up... But I never watched anything with the white guy, I had lots interest years ago by then (Still play that fighting game for the Snes and thats why I know there is a fucking white ranger... And deathbattle okay) Today: Power Rangers Neon, Power Rangers Tetris, Power Rangers Ultra Power, Power Rangers Sexfighters, Power Rangers Nazi, Power Rangers Texas Rangers, Power Rangers Color, Power Rangers Multiforce Orbital Neo Neon.... And thats just like 03 percent of the variants right? Moral: As a kid we always had a lol when the Asian chick turned into Yellow ranger and did a split kick, which kinda revealed she had a massive dick between her legs... Later we understood that she was a he and that the Ranger Segments are recorded in Japan... Probably by a Hermafrodite... Nah, a guy fine. Oh, and we always lolled at how "gay" the original blue ranger acted he was supposed to be Nerd but I was like eight and was like "lol he just seems gay"... Just for it to turn out that he quit the series because supposedly the rest of the actors mocked him for being gay, Wow thats... Weird.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What's black, white and sings the intro theme song for "Thomas the Tank Engine" while tap-dancing? There probably isn't anything that does that.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops