Have You Ever Seen Stevie Wonder's New House? No.. Neither Has He.

Question to make it sound like a racist joke? Politically correct answer that should not offend anyone.

Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems nice tits

what do u call a hairy cow? Harry

How many black people does it take to tar a roof? Just one. Unless he wants to do it in a shorter amount of time and calls a few friends to help him.

Spongebob. "Hey Patrick, I thought of something funnier than 24." Patrick "Let me hear it." Spongebob "25"

Jimmy: Daddy how are babies made? Dad: If i knew how you wouldn't be here...

It's caoimhin I wasnt writing cos kane turned my computer off the bel end aodhans been tuping sayin its be the spa.

Q: Knock - Knock A: NO SOLICITORS!

You know what's sad and Funny? When a guy walks into a gay bar and doesn't get hit on.

A person affected by Alzheimer's is asked a knock knock question- Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Wait what are we doing again?

Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip? to ge to the same side

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

If your yacht is if moving at 50 knots per hour in a wind tunnel how many leprechauns can you fit in a chamber? Even, because purple is attracted to bestiality.

What did the man say to the cat? I thought you were fake.

Person 1: Why does food from Subway taste so good? Person 2: I don't know, why? Person 1: Because their ingredients are fresh. Person 2: Um, OK? Person 1: Yeah, it's all under 18. Person 2: Shit...

A man walks into a bar. He tricks a lady into smelling a rag doused with chlorophoam, and rapes her.

What happens when you turn the TV on? You watch it.

What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

Hey dude. who died.... crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets crickets YO MAMA

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

What did the child say after the priest touched him? Thank you for the ashes Father, have a blessed Lenten season.

What's worse than finding a knife in your car? Finding a car in your knife.

What do Ping-Pong and Godzilla have in common? Both of them have nothing to do with budhism.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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