I woke up this morning and ran five miles. I am proud of myself for engaging in such a healthy lifestyle.

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If you could eliminate one thing in your life, what would it be ? My ex.

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How do you make a grown man cry? Fling a rubber band at him.

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Q. What's yellow and sour? A. Not a banana

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What's hot and cold at the same time? Hotcold.

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If there's something strange in your neighborhood. Who ya gonna call? The Police.

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Roses are red, The grass is greener, Every time i'm with you, I touch my wiener.

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What did the little boy with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A gun

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse being a horse and doesnt understand english is confused and scared by its surroundings it gallops away knocking over a few tables.

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Why did the man punch the women? I don't know, but he served jailtime

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Why don't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Duck, Duck who? Duck Sandwich

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A person affected by Alzheimer's is asked a knock knock question- Knock Knock Who's there? Boo Wait what are we doing again?

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a potato a chicken and a rooster ate a cat and you just wasted your time

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks: dude, what happened to your eye? The man replies: abuse.

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Q) What did one chicken say to the other? A) Nothing. Chickens can't talk.

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Doctor, I keep believing I am stuck in the Matrix! Oh thats common, you know existencial crisis and so on but we got medications, you want the blue or the red pill?

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A devout Islamic man walks into a weapons of mass destruction store he is shocked and appalled at how easily such dangerous weapons can be bought.

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Every first letter of an innappropriate body part is how it actually looks like: Penis, Vagina, Boobs

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What do I hate? people

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what do mr. potato head and micheal jackson have in common? their noses come off pretty easily

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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There was a girl that got on the bus . The bus started moving as soon as sat . The bus driver looked up at the window and saw the girl coming closer . Every time she came closer , the more he looked , the girls nose kept on bleeding more and more . When the girl was right next to the bus driver , he started to shudder in fear looking forward , knowing that she is there . When he looks to his right , the girl looked at him , then looked at the window . And started to pick her nose .

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why did the black man start crying? because his ancestors were treated horribly

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops