There is a wizard standing on a street corner. A boy walks up to the wizard and says, "Can you turn invisible?" The wizard replies, "Oh, I'm not a wizard. I'm a hobo with a long beard and a bathrobe." The hobo then proceeded to begging the boy for money.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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What happened when the Mexican lays his head on a pillow? He falls asleep

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what did the whale say when he came out of the water? BLAHHRRAHAHHAAARRRAER

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What's worse than spending time with Inlaws? Spending time with outlaws.

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Why did the paraplegic die in a fire? He couldn't get down the stairs.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? It's dependent on many factors, like the size of the babies and the tub. It would be a horrific endeavor, and you should probably stop thinking about such things.

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Why was the baby's face red? Because it was bloody.

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Why do bees fly? Because evolution made them

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A man had two kids who he loved very much but would always come home in a bad mood. On a Friday after returning home, he tells his wife, "I hate my life," then proceeds to take his anger out on her. If you were expecting for this to be a joke, then you clearly have some messed up humor. Abuse in the household isn't to be taken lightly.

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What is worse than stepping on Lego bare foot? Mass genocide.

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What do they call Chinese food in China? Food

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Why was the Mexican in the back of a pick up truck? There were not any available seats.

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What do you call a monkey lost in a desert? A donkey who was forgotten by his owner.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Im Black Im Black Who Open The Door Now Pancakes Granted

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When life hands me beef, I make lemon stew.

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What do you call a squirrel in my yard? Dead.

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Q) What did the farmer say who'd lost his tractor? A) Where's my tractor?

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A man walks into a shop and picks up some items for his party. He walks out of the shop without paying for the items. The police are promptly called and the man receives a 4 year sentence in prison for shoplifting.

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whats fat and sits on a toilet? a fat guy sitting on the toilet

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Why did the boy ask his dad for a phone? Because he had his head stuck up a sheeps bum

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what does nba stand for? Nothing but Africans

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A horse walks into a bar. The horse says "why the short face?"

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What did Rihanna remember when she corrected Chris Browns tweets she can't remember last thing she saw was a fist

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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