what did the women say when she saw a tiger maul a rabbit? she didn't see it, she was in the kitchen cooking and ironing

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin that someone shot with red paintballs.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man gets home from work with red on his collar. His wife asks what it is. The man replies "I had sex with a young woman, your to old and you disqust me"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

This is the same thing you told me once, believe me, it helps holding into it.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What happened when Suzy fell off the swing? She hurt herself.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Man goes to the doctors, says doctor, im depressed. ive tried everything but i just cant see the bright side of life anymore, it seems empty to me, like theres no point in existing. The doctor certifies the man as clinically depressed and alerts the relevant authorities.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why dont blind people go skydiving? Because they dont live when they hit the ground

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing because apples can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why does Gandalf have special powers? Because Dumbledore died.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why do dogs bark? Idk why? Cause there dogs

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call 10 old black people in a barn? Used farm equipment

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the little girl only walk half way across the street She fell into a man hole and died

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the man fall on the floor? He had a heart attack.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man is jogging down the street. He bangs his kneecap into a metal pole and shatters it. He is then hit by a giant cheese wheel and dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's invisible? A lot of stuff.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Your momma is so dumb she'd starve if she were trapped in a fully stocked grocery store. -Actually my mom has a pHD in Nutritional Science. If she were trapped in a fully stocked grocery store, she'd utilize that knowledge to maintain a balanced diet until a way was made available for her to return home.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

knock knock , who is there the postman the postman who ? the postman who is gonna give you a bill !

thumb_up thumb_down +1

a man dyslexic into bar walks a

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What is the difference between a Ferrari and 1,000 babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Caroline Kelly.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's worse than stepping in tar? Getting your face ripped off by a man sized Tarantula

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why do white people drive big trucks? 'Cause they can afford it.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walks into a bar, the bartender asks "why the long face?" he replies: "I was walking with my wife and was mauled by a bear"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops