A dancer walks into a barre

My wife asked me to prepare our son for his first day of school. He's a ginger so I punched him in the face, and stole his lunch money.

Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

roses are red, violets are purple, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

How do you stop a little boy from annoying you? You chop his balls of. Why was the little boy sad? Because someone chopped his balls off.

- Knock, knock. -- How many dead babies does it take to cross the street and walk into a bar? - That's an odd question to ask to a visitor. -- Your mom.

When I see the Viagra commercial telling you about all the side effects and they say "if you have an erection lasting for more than 4 hours, call a doctor." If I have an erection that lasts that long, I'm not calling a doctor. I'm calling my mom; who I always call when I'm sick.

the WNBA.

What would a gay man do with a jelly doughnut? Thoroughly enjoy its fruity taste.

What's worse then the bomb that went off in boston? The second one right after.

Q: What's worse than finding out yor girlfriend is a guy? A: He had sex with your dad.

Why did the old lady talk to a tree? She had Alzheimer's and was going to die.

What's funny about Magic Johnson's T-Cell count? Nothing. He has AIDS, and it's a degenerative disease, that will eventually result in death. There's nothing funny about that.

What did the orange say to the lemon? "Hello"

Whats the best part about having sex with 25 year olds? There 20 of them.

How many dead babies would it take to plug the Fukushima Dai-Ichi nuclear power plant? None -- they are using thousands of litres of liquid glass coagulant instead.

Have you heard about the hipster paleontologist? He liked dinosaurs better when they were underground.

knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

A black guy, a mexican, and an arab are all in the same car, Whos driving the car? The black guy because he politely offered and his friends were happy to ride with him.

Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's. Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's.

What do Alzheimer patients think of the internet. Happy pi day.

whats worse than having ants in your pants? getting sotomized by a lightsaber

why dont you hit a black kid on a bike? its probably your bike.

Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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