What did the prosecuting attorney say to the defense attorney? I hate you.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Mother: "George what happenend to your pet rock?" George:"I dont know." Mother:"Here! I found your pet rock. It was in the same place it was before!"

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13 =B you just learned something

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Why did two rhinos engage in vigorous sex? They were horny.

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How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

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What do u call a black guy that sell drugs? A nigga

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Doctor, doctor, I just swallowed a roll of film! That was an incredibly foolish and dangerous thing for you to do. I would be surprised if you survived another day before the chemicals corrode your stomach lining and release hydrofluoric acid throughout your body causing sepsis.

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Why did the german killed the jew? Because he was nazi.

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Did you hear about the man with the bicycle? He was 2 tired.

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What is big, green, fuzzy, and would kill you if it fell on you? A pool table.

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What's the difference between a baby and a tea bag? Tea bags don't scream when I dip them in boiling water

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What do you call a man with no eyes? A hero for going to war and surviving being tortured by the Vietnamese.

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A man and a six year old boy are walking along a path through the woods on a moonless night. "Gee mister, I'm scared!" says the boy. "You're scared?" says the man. "I have to walk back alone!"

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whats the point of anti jokes? A: the point that it is no point

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why did the small boy drop his ice cream ? because he has no hands

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I dyed my armpit hair blue yesterday because I wanted to start a new trend. My boyfriend later broke up with me.

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Q: what did the emo girl use to check her email? A: A computer.

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Q:What happened when the bear walked into the bar? You cannot answer because you were seriously injured by the bear.

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Why was Sally sad? She was the only survivor of a plane crash that killed her entire family.

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ugvvvvvv

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2 Men Walk Into A Bar, I Forget The Rest.

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What is an offensive way to refer to black people from the time of the Flint Stones? Niggers

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A blonde walks out of a hair salon She had just dyed her hair.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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