Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Although I guess there is probably no way to get on the swing with no arms unless there was another person there to aid you in the process, and that is highly unlikely because nobody wants to hang out with a girl with no arms. Still even if Suzie was helped on to the swing she wouldn't be able to swing because of her lack of arms. Maybe that person who helped her on pushed the swing with her on it bearing in mind she has no arms. In that case Suzie should stop hanging out with that person because they are very sadistic to deliberately shove a girl with no arms off a swing.

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What did the librarian say to the rude man who was talking very loudly? The librarian said "shhh keep it down."

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What did the one stethoscope say to the other stethoscope? Nothing. Stethoscopes can't talk.

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Why do seagulls live by the sea? Because they wouldn't be able to live anywhere else.

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Sigh, everybody in the world hates me :( Moral: Seven billion people? Realy?

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How do you tell a crazy man that he is on fire? You're on fire.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum sucker, and the other is an advisor who assists people by representing them on legal matters.

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The biggest lie ever. "I do" -Kim Kardashian

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Why was the man foolish for buying a new lamp? Because he lived in a small shack with no electricity and was probably going to die soon.

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My mom told me and my brother to lean up on a commercial...we were watching netflix

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What happened to the gay guy? He died of aids...

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What is a white supremacist's favorite color? It varies depending on the individual.

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There are 10 kinds of people in this world. Those who understand binaryy and those who dont.

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A black and a white man walk into a grocery store the black man buys fried chicken and the white man buys vegtables. The men both have different opions and enjoy different food groups.

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What did the prizon cell mate get for christmas. Herpes!

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It may be Stupid but its also Dumb. ~Patrick Star

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Whats worse than the holocaust A: not much

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So a man walks into a bar, And because he is dressed in such a way that was thought of as threatening to the general safety of the highly valued customers, he is shot eight times in the head.

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There's a donut on a cruise ship and he goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain goes "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and says "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain replies "nope, come back tomorrow" so the next day the donut goes up to the captain and he's like "hey captain can I drive the cruise ship" and the captain says "NO!" and throws him over board Theres a couple on the cruise ship and the man was going to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and propose. So he was showing his bestfriend (who was also on the cruise ship) the ring. But was he pulled it out the wind picked up and the ring fell over board. So the man was forced to have a romantic dinner with his girlfriend and couldn't propose. So they go to dinner and the both get crab. And when they open up the crab and guess what's in the crab?! Not the ring the donut!!!

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whats worse than finding out there's mold in your bread? finding out the holocaust is in your bread

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What do you call a dog without a bone? Floppy.

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guess what my weiner dog did last night? pooped in my bed

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What is black and blue and doesn't like sex? The 6 year old in my basement.

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Have You Ever Seen Stevie Wonder's New House? No.. Neither Has He.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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