how do you poke a chinese person in the eye? with a credit card!

Dane Cook makes a joke.

What is worst then 9/11? What? Tiger woods

Q. What do you call a small hen that can't lay eggs properly? A. A small hen that can't lay eggs properly.

What do you get if you mix a baby with a blender? A prison sentence.

What is the difference between a black person and a bicycle? You can sell a bicycle legally.

What do you say to somebody that wont shut up Shut up!!!!

Q: What did the chicken cross the road? A: "Why did the chicken cross the road?" is a common riddle or joke in several languages. The answer or punchline is: "To get to the other side." The riddle is an example of anti-humor, in that the curious setup of the joke leads the listener to expect a traditional punchline, but they are instead given a simple statement of fact. "Why did the chicken cross the road?" has become largely iconic as an exemplary generic joke to which most people know the answer, and has been repeated and changed numerous times.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because chad makes babies cry.

A black, jew, mexican, and american are on the boat. The boat begins to sink. As an idea, they all throw stuff off the boat to try to stay afloat. The black throws off cotton, the jew throws off yamakas, and the mexican throws off sombreros. Then, the american throws off the mexican because there are too many in his country. The mexican drowns. The boat still sinks and the american goes to hell while the other go to heaven.

How do you make a lumberjack cry? Kill his family

what did your mum say when she ran into chuck norris? hello chuck norris

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead

yo mama so dumb... because she was not properly educated

Chris is hairy

Want to hear a popular joke? Women's Rights

Why was the cat meowing really loud? It was on fire. Why did the cat suddenly stop meowing? It died.

why did the horse drop its ice cream Because it doesnt have thumbs so it cant hold the ice cream

Why from a friends phone? I demand a full explanation, here, you got my number, you got my home address, and who the hell was that crying little bitch on the phone? I got friends in the UK which owe me some money, and nothing to lose, if I have to take care of you before you take care of me and even possibly my wife in the crossfire, I will take you down and everything in my path! Moral: Got ya!.

What do you get when you cross a Lion and a Shark? You would likely get trouble, seeing as its both animals are quite dangerous and crossing even one of them is ill advised.

How do you kill a diabetic? Take away their insuline

Your mama is so black, she contributes regularly to the NAACP and the United Negro College Fund. Her donations and volunteer work help greatly.

Whats worse than the holocaust? Sex with helen keller.

I used to work as a human cannonball. I thought I was going to get fired, however during one performance the trajectory was miscalculated and I ended up severely damaging my spinal cord. I now work from home as a IT consultant. It's depressing.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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