A successful, articulate, charming, well mannered, rich, young man walks into a bar.... Every night

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Who has two thumbs and lost them? Me but I can't really point at myself due to the lack of thumbs.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the engine wasnt working.

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So a bar walks into a man...

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What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what you named it.

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God Nero, Marry me now! I removed the nose thingie but it wont stop.

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What does a homeless man get for Christmas? A gun to kill himself with

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Q: why does the man like men? A: because he is gay

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Q: What did the Rabbi say to the butcher? A: "Do you have the time?"

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People always say if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say Anthony at all. Mimes must be full of hate.

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How many Dean Mckee's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? He doesn't know what a lightbulb's for, nevermind how to use one.

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There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. Coincidentally, it was also Tuesday.

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What's black, blue, and read all over? The newspaper.

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A man walked into a bar.He woke up hours later and went home. By TheRealPaddock

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what did hayley say to missy last night? I'm tired bye

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A classic (apologies if it's been posted before): A woman was riding the bus home after a day of shopping. Suddenly she jumped up, shouting "may aspirins! My aspirins!" The driver replied: "You probably left them on the counter at the drugstore."

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There is an American, a Mexican, and a Muslim on a plane They give the American the 1 parachute and the Mexican and the north koreon explode

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Its over 9000 penises and they're all raping little children!!!!!

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga in the morning You poke her face

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Why did Helen Keller cross the road? Hoefuwpugosihfioapfsoihosw[

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OMG, I have a really funny alzheimer's joke. Your'e gonna love it! Uhh, I umm kinda forgot what it was now.

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A duck walks into a bar and orders 2 beers and a shot. The bartender says "That'll be four fifty." The duck says he doesn't have any money and asks if the bartender can put it on his bill. The bartender says "No." He then picked the duck up by the neck and raped him mercilessly. "That's what he gets" one patron said. "Yeah, he was asking for it"

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Why didn't gram-pa give his grandson a Birthday present? Because he had Alzheimer's and forgot about him.

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question: why did the dog whine? answer: Because it wanted the freakin bone

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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