What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers

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What do Robbers Get for Christmas? Other peoples things.

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why did the firefighter let the fire burn... becuase of inattentivieness. he will soon be fired.

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Why are Holocaust locations so expensive? They were mass acres.

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Whats worse than having a worm in your apple? Having one in your intestins.

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How many women does it take to changed a light bulb? 12. 11 to form a committee and 1 to make her boyfriend do it.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The holocaust

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When life gives you lemons, take them. Free stuff is cool.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Your mamma is so fat that she is undergoing strict diet and exercise in order to reduce the risk of premature death due to health complications.

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Why don't you ever want to greet your friend Jack on the plane? Because your wife cheated on you with him and she is having his baby, if you were to even think about talking to Jack, you'd end up slitting his throat and throwing him off the side of the plane into a crocodile pit where they will make a feast of his body for the next couple days... So just don't greet Jack

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Scenario - Two astronauts are kayaking down the Sahara dessert. Question - How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse? Answer - Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

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Why didn't the black man sit in the front of the bus? Because he lives in a society where it is illegal and socially unacceptable for a person of african decent to sit in towards the front of a bus, near the driver, which is most commonly reserved for a person of european decent.

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Q: How many times did the chicken cross the road? A: One and a half.

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How many people are in the world? More than one. -David Papile

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the stoplight turned green

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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what do u call a black guy who sells drugs a pharmacist

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Yo mamma's so fat she attracts other matter with a force proportional to the product of their masses divided by the square of the distance.

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What is funnier than 24? If you think numbers are funny then you could have a mental illness and that isn't quite funny.

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? You don't have to cook an onion to eat it.

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on a scale from voldemort to nigel thornberry, how big is your penis?

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Two muffins are cooking in the oven, they say nothing to one another as muffins can't talk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops