What do you get when you cross a hooker with five shots of tequila? Herpes

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Knock knock. Who's there? It's the government, your home is being repossessed.

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A bear walks into a bar. The bear is then shot by the bartender with the shotgun kept under the counter.

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The Lord told Moses to come forth. He tripped and came fifth.

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If a chicken and a half lays an egg and half in a half of a day how long does it take a monkey with a peg leg to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle?

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Why did the little boy wipe his face with a towel? It was covered with his dog's blood after getting hit by a bus.

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What's worse than finding a worm on your apple? Trench foot on your eyebrow.

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Do homeless people get knock-knock jokes?

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What happens if you punch a girl? An equal rights protest.

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What do you get when you cross the ocean with a dinosaur? Wet.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Why couldn't Sally celebrate hollaween? Because she's not allowed to take candy from strangers. Also Sally died a week ago in a car crash.

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You do realize that in my home dimension of earth, I am just lying in the sun, typing on the goddamn laptop right? I mean are you retarded OR SOMETHING? I AM THE GODDAMN MORAL MAN! Moral: Honestly though, If I where like running around shouting this, I... Would begin to get slightly worried...

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Rebecca Black walks into a bar. The bartender refuses to serve her because she is not yet 21.

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A black man a white man and an asian man walk into a bar have a few drinks and on thier drive home run over a three year old little girl and here to month old sister and they go to prison for the rest of thier lives (they shouldn't of let the asian drive)

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Why did the gay man sneek out of the brothel? Because he was ashamed of his well paying reception job

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Thank you very much for being so kind to me throughout the years. I have never known a better man. Rest in peace.

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What did the black girl say when sho dropped her phone? Oh crap, I dropped my phone.

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A Muslim and 2 French people walked into a bar They start to have a nice conversation about Charlie Hebdo

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What is worse that a bee sting? 2 bee stings what is worse that 2 bee sting? Kony what is wose than Kony? 3 bee stings what is worse than 3 bee sting? being allergic to bee stings

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What has four legs but can't walk? A tranquilized bear

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Q. what has 2 tums and a boner. A. a horny guy <3

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If you don`t see a banner here, it doesn`t mean it wont come back to annoy you whenever it feels like.... P.S, Advertising helps us get rich while permanently harming your ability to focus, Please be understanding! PS: Why the hell do they use capital letters after you know, Commas? its, Weird!

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If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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