how did sally die? she starved because she cant get in to get the nuggets.

Twelve people are in a plane. One of them says: "Man, we really are not so many in this plane" Another one replies: "It's because it's a 12 seats plane." Another says: "Do 12 seats planes even exist?" Another one answers: "Of course they do." Another person says: "Guys, are we even flying?" Someone says: "I don't know" Another says: "Yes, we're flying, look out the window." Another says: "I have cancer." Someone reacts: "Oh, I'm really sorry for you" Another: "Yes, me too" Someone adds: "It's really terrible" Another says: "Has science made any progress recently?" The plane crashes.

What is the sun's favorite day of the week? The sun is a mass of incadescent gas and cannot feel emotions; therefore, it cannot have a favorite day of the week.

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

Q. Why did my ass feel so sweaty? A. Because i was exercising and suckn on some nips.

What did the mother say when the train hit her? Bad train! We don't hit!

chuck norris once kicked a man verry hard that man proceded to lose contiosness and chuck norris was disqualified from the martial arts compatition

How can you tell if someone is a Mexican? Ask them politely if they're Mexican

Why did the ground beef taste funny? Because little Timmy fell in the grinder.

What the difference between a circle and a triangle? You're an idiot if you don't know the difference.

What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

You know that song "FIrework" by Katy Perry? Well, I ate a hotdog last night.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Sally

Roses are red violets are blue make me a sandwhich so i can eat it

What did Billy say to Jesus when he died? Nothing he went to hell. -Austin Conradt

What's worse than losing the remote? A steamroller going backwards on the highway.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was baked.

Texas! You are doing it the wrong way! Learn from Hitler, gas is cheaper.

What do you get when you cross a hooker with five shots of tequila? Herpes

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue I've just bought a chainsaw, and I will now decapitate you.

A man walks off the top of a very tall building. Why did he fall off? Because he was blind

What do you call a white man without a face? Dead. What do you call a black man without a head? Negger.

What's the difference between a black man and a bicycle? ( I don't know. ) You're so racist.

A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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